SICK

I wrote this when a friend of mine told me she was not feeling well. I play with words which I love to do.

　

SICK

　

　

　

Oh gee…I think I’m gonna

Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhh

CCHHOOO!!!!

Sneeze.

Jeez.

This won’t do

Not at all.

I think I’m sick.

Gonna fall

Right into bed.

Whatever I have it’s in my head.

I’m dizzy and achy and chilled to the core

I shake inside and my muscles are sore.

Maybe I have the flu…

But if I had the flu, where would I fly to?

If I really knew

That I flew?

Maybe it’s a cold.

Or allergies to mold.

But I feel so hot…

How can I be cold?

I’m not.

Pneumonia could it be?

That’s worse than an allergy.

Bronchitis would be bad

But a bronco I don’t have.

What can it be?

AAAHHHCCHHOOOO!!!

Oh me.

Sniff sniff snort

My breath is short.

I cannot breath with ease.

Oh jeez!! Another

Aacchhoooo!!!!

Sneeze.

I think I’d better stay in bed

And take care of my achy head

Achoo!!

Oh gee what’s wrong with me?

I hate being sick

It doesn’t end quick.

It’s a code in by hed

At least I’m not dead.

Whew!!

AAAcchhoooo!!!!

Sounds like Kung Fu.

It’s a cold, it’s the flu

It’s the chills, it’s ague.

Whatever it be

Why did it happen to me?

Aacchhhoooo!!!

Oh gee

Agony.

　

　

　

Jeffrey Hollander

Copyright 1999

Author's Note

I'd like some general comments, please. Honest ones.

Reviews

[Sasha]

I can do honesty.
- I like the rhyme.
- "Maybe I have the flu…
But if I had the flu, where would I fly to?"
If you had said, "If I had the flu, where have I flown to?" I would've been falling apart right now. flu = flew, so past tense, right? The following two lines are like telling a joke and then saying, "YOU GET IT, RIGHT? WASN'T THAT FUNNY?" If it was, you wouldn't have to ask. :P
- As much as I enjoy a rhyme, the impression I got as I continued to read was that your rhyming was scattered. It didn't feel like it had a particular format in some places, it just rhymed as much as possible. I could be wrong, but that's how it felt to read and I can't be bothered to go back.
- I did love the repitition of the aaaahchoooo sneeze bit.
- It was sweet of you to write this for your friend.

[*~Kristy~*]

It's like nothing I've ever read...I haven't decided if I like it or not really. I like the rhyming scheme...Idk I'll have to think about the rest...

[Manda.Ree]

good true meaning