knocking on heavens door

n

 

 

 

Knocking on heavens door

 

 

i was lonely down  and broken hearted,

 

 

Losing in love before I even got started,

 

 

Walking, thinking, about what went wrong,

 

 

Why me I can't take no-more,

 

 

Ended up knocking on heavens door,

 

 

Knock! Knock! Knock!

 

 

Knocking on heavens door,

 

 

A sweet angel opened up,

 

 

Not a word she spoke,

 

 

Yet I felt she  sensed my hurt,

 

 

Took me in her arms,

 

 

Kissed me soft and long,

 

 

As I surrender to her heavenly charms,

 

 

 

Her wings enfolded me,

 

 

 And set my hurt free,

 

 

She said wizthom I understand,

 

 

Don’t worry I'll ease the pain,

 

 

She was so beautiful, sweet brown sugar,

 

 

Her kisses tasted like honey,

 

 

 Fresh as the morning dew,

 

 

She led me to a bed of roses,

 

 

Laid me down and whispered,

 

 

You give so much of yourself,

 

 

Running on empty there's nothing left,

 

 

So I will refill you,

 

 

 

 Give you love,

 

 

 That so brand new,

 

 

Mm mm,her body on top of mines,

 

 

Made my nature rise,

 

 

She said, its okay,

 

 

 

I'm here to serve you in a heavenly way,

 

 

as she planted kisses on  my chest ,

 

 

pulsing to suck  on my erect n*****s,

 

 

 

first the left then the right

 

 

that drove me wild needless to say,

 

 

 

by then Thor was jumping ,my desire

 

 

 

had became a raging fire,

 

 

as i exhaled i felt her grab hold ,

 

 

 

of my life force hard and wet,

 

 

as she pumped me  stroked me,

 

 

 i looked down only to see,

 

 

her taking my rod lovingly between her lips,

 

 

as i felt  the warm enfolds of her mouth ,

 

 

 

she gently sucked as she jerk me up and down,

 

 

mmm ooohh  my love ,, i found myself loving this angel,

 

 

 

for i could tell she was loving the taste and feel of me,

 

 

she was moaning,slurping,pumping,licking the crown right down to the under vein,

 

 

 

every minute second she was loving it

 

 

when all of a sudden her body started ,

 

 

 

jerking yes this beautiful angel was having an organism,

 

 

just from the taste of my nature flow,

i--yes i let go,

 

 

see i couldn't hold it no-more,

 

 

i gave her my true essence,after all that's what she wanted,

 

 

i shot hot strong,and long,

 

 

 

but she was draining me faster than i could shoot,

 

 

most men would have been Thu,,no not i ,

 

 

this angel i had to get inside,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so i pull her up,kissed her just to lay her down,

 

 

with wide open legs MM what a sight to see,

 

 

a  hot wet streaming honey nest beckoning me to come in,

 

 

and i did,oh yes  i did...

 

 

i give her the best in love,

 

 

with each thrust came a moan,

 

 

with each pull back came loves lotion,

 

 

i was stroking slow deep and hard,

 

 

she was bouncing up to greet me,

 

 

 

love puddles they were flowing,

 

 

as Ecstasy came calling,

 

 

i shouted oh my angel ,

 

 

you ,you make a man feel so good,

 

 

 

as she moaned wizthom,

 

 

don't stop i want it allllllll,

 

 

time stopped ,we were in a zone,

 

 

where good feeling goes on and on,

 

 

sweat ,heat,wetness,equivocalness,

 

 

we became one in union,

 

 

one in passion,one in affection..

 

 

 

 

 

LOVE IS THE FORCE ,THAT RULES US ALL,,

Author's Note

mm erotic sweet angel

Reviews

[Enigmatic Amor]

Yes, quite erotic to be sure. More in the way of cyber sex, to my thought.

The beginning started quite nicely and did not make me think of an erotic poem. At first I thought it was something else.

One thing I noticed was that you used some lines from songs, was that intentional? I think that could be incorporated well if done right. Perhaps those lines in quotations...something to set them apart from your writing. It does add a certain dimension to the piece.

Thank you for sharing my friend.

[Erin Phoenix]

Lol Very erotic:)

I liked it's flow and peace of words.

Very nice

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

You know what I like about your work? You never use those childish euphemisms. Thank God! I totally loved this poem! It's just plain excellent! no wait... Erotic excellence! Lol I totally admire your ability to refrain from holding back a dirty word, phrase, or sentence. That's not something everyone can do. ;)

This reminds me greatly of the Book of Enoch (a banned book of the Bible) where angels lusted after human women... only this poem is a little different. The female angel and the male human lust or perhaps make love to each other. ^^ So, definitely a romantic feel despite the erotic themes. :) Great job!

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[Angel's Lady]

You definitely painted a very visual picture! Seductive to say the least! Great write.

[Vatsayayana]

Hmmmmm... I love the picture!
That alone is gorgeous.
What an insatiable piece. This just reaches out, plucks you from the stars and strokes and laves at every inch of skin.
Total temptation. What a wanton angel, I want one! Such passion and fury.
Your words are excellent. I love the strength and love here. Such blinding lust.
It's a delicious package, rolled up, presented beautifully.
Well done!

[goddessofthenite]

THIS A GOOD ONE MADE ME BLUSH

[Barbara Walker]

The first part of this is very erotic and then becomes nasty. Now I see nothing wrong with either form, but it seems to me it is better if it is all one or the other. I am really in a mood to review so here goes: You write this poem in the past tense, so in line 14, grammatically speaking the word should be "surrendered". Line 16, should be "set", not "sat". Line 28, "that's", not "that". Line 29, "mine", not "mines". Line 33, you left out the word "on" before "my". Line 51, the word is "orgasm", not "organism". Line 57, "thru" or "through", not "thu". And last, but not least, in Line 61, I think that line would flow better if you left off, "to come in". Your rhymes are good, it flows well and it's very descriptive, although enigmatic writing on this subject sometimes appeals to readers. I thought it was hot, it was just difficult to get my mind around the fact that it was an angel doing this. However, I don't think I've ever met an angel, so who knows what they are capable of doing? :) Barbara

[Tai Chi Italy]

This is my true opinion here and I don't mean to offend, but! I enjoyed the poem until it because too explicit, because you see? I can't see a real angel performing such sloppy acts upon any man, making love is one thing, it is tasteful, it is sensual, it is sexy but to describe certain parts of the enatomy in such a way, spoils it for me and turns it into porn, it makes me wince, that is the test by which I judge erotica, don't worry about it, Men are not good in general at separating smut for erotica.....you can drive a woman wild with a few words, or turn her right off with many inappropriate ones. I hope you don't take offence at this, I normally don't bother to review rather than hurt a writers feelings,but you are a good writer who could be a great erotic writer, just tame down the verbiage a little.

Smiling at you

Tai

[Cylis Derrens]

Interesting...there seems to be two voices or spirits in this poem. One voice is sweet: a soft reflection. The other voice is explicit and erotic.

[wizthom]

no knocking on heavens door did not use parts of song ,tho i know the one u may have in mind bob Dylan,the meanings are completely opposite .as with all my creation title is of the most important,
Barbara
when i composed knocking on heavens door it was my intent to make the past seem seem like the present ,
i found it interesting that you would make for a good editor,i corrected line 14 and sat as set,but i disagree with you on nasty .the act of love is never nasty ,the act of compassion is never nasty ,the showing of love to another who's in love is called expression ,but like you said you found it hard to conceive an angel doing this ,however that was the main reason why God took the sex organs from the angels because they were mating with man,,that is how your Gods came about and giants in the bible Genesis you would find this to be true,,but the angel i was writing about is a lady who understood the pain of common man the need to be appreciated,.again thank you for polishing up my creation peace wizthom
as for the others saying this is too explicit i find that odd i only use words of loving decorations perhaps the visual i painted was a little much for those who only make love with the lights off and under the cover ,yet i know a lady serving a man can be a turn off to most but it does happen.:-) i thank u for Ur review and am honor that u thought enough to share Ur opinions.peace wizthom