Becky..who?

So I live my life trying to fulfill everyone's expectations.
Making it easy for me to buckle under the frustrations.
I know there is no excuse for giving into temptation.
And no this isn't me trying to give myself a Madonna transformation.

I'm not saying that I am doing this to rebel.
No I didn't do it to upset my friends and to raise hell.
After I did it, I felt immediately lost, as if I had fell.
Like I was falling off a tower so built up and I couldn't even yell.

I have been so stressed, upset and sad.
Its probably been the worst year I have ever had.
And I know a lot of people will find out and get mad.
Honestly, I don't regret it, not at all, in fact I'm kind of glad.

Didn't know how to deal with this, but I got here and my fingers hit the keys.
I feel so trapped in a cycle, like I vicious disease.
I stepped out of Beckz and out on to a trapeze.
Where I felt unstable, out of control without any form of ease.

Drugs is something I told myself I would never do.
Always something I told myself to never pursue.
My friends pretty much all have done drugs too.
But If you asked any one of them if they beleive I did drugs.. they would be like Becky who?