The Boy With No Memories

Thoughtless.

…

Sensationless.

…

Motionless.

…

He, who was everything, drifted aimlessly in nothing. Such is the state of being thoughtless, sensationless, motionless. He was the universe, the universe was him. He was, in all essence, free.

That was, until something came out of the depths of nothingness. They binded his arms, his legs, and his whole body. Trapping him, suffocating him, against his primal will. Then he was dragged. Torn away from the universe, separated from nothingness, and thrusted into somethingness. 

He awoke with a loud gasp. What…just happened? Where is he? Who is he? This sense of being, this sense of existing…

Thoughts began forming in his head. He began questioning his existence. 

His ears buzzed from the loud cacophony of noises. Of unnerving whispers and unfamiliar tunes. He wished them to stop, to cease their incessant chattering. What exactly was the source of the ruckus?

With his eyes, he gazed. Like molten gold being poured into a mould, his once dead eyes started to twinkle with life as the colours of the world trickled into his vision. Incomprehensible shapes start to take form, the world constructing itself before him. The first thing he saw was white. There were many white beings around him. 

His mouth tasted sticky and dry, and in the air, there lingered the scent of artificial chemicals. But even stronger than that was another reeking, pungent smell. A smell so terrible it made him shudder in pure revulsion.

Humans.

Sensations began registering. He can now feel, see, hear, taste and smell.

That’s what they were. The white beings around him were humans - humans dressed in white coats. They surrounded him, touching him, leaving him nowhere to escape. Wherever they touched, his skin burned, as if scalded by acid. He hissed, sweeping away their hands with a resounding smack. 

He began to move. He now has full control of his body’s motion.

“Don’t touch me,” he growled, a low rumbling threat. 

The men in white ignored his words. Instead, they did the exact opposite, gathering closer and murmuring sweet honeyed words to him, treating him like a small, pitiable animal.

Their disgusting tone, disgusting scent and disgusting appearances closing around him sent his mind into a frenzy, like a bird trapped in a cage. He wanted to run, he wanted to hide, he wanted to be anywhere but here, where he was surrounded by humans.

He gritted his teeth. “Go away…”

The men in white only tutted in sympathy, smiling widely. 

“You’ll be alright.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Calm down, take deep breaths.”

“You’re just confused, it’s OK now.”

Something akin to lava bubbled uncontrollably within his chest. His breathing became ragged, his nerves frazzled, and his heart was hammering so fast that it was about to explode. 

“GO AWAY OR I’LL KILL YOU!”

A blast of fire sent the bunch of white men reeling. With a disturbing dissonance, they yelled and crashed into equipment. While the sound grated against his ears, he was actually way more relieved than before. With those men off his case, he felt like he was able to properly breathe. Although he wasn’t sure what had just happened, nor where did that blast of fire come from, something told him that it had meant him no harm, that it was summoned by his call for help.

Now that the men were down, he saw that there was a door right opposite him. He sat up, only realising that he had been lying on a soft bed this entire time. But he didn’t have time to think about that. With the door just a few feet away and the men in white still regaining their wits, he could already taste freedom on his tongue. He just had to run out of that door, and sweet, sweet freedom will be his!

However, just as he opened the door, he ran face-first into something solid so hard it could have caused the second Big Bang. He fell on his bottom, rubbing his head in prickly annoyance. But that prickly annoyance was instantly dampened at the sight of a menacing, towering man. While he was not a man in white and his clothing, a collared t-shirt and pants, were less intimidating, he was still metres taller than him. Behind the menacing, towering man was a human lady dressed in an elegant dress. She, too, was exceptionally, scarily tall. 

He gulped. On shaky legs, he backed away. The men in white had regained their wits and were rising up, one by one, and he could only watch powerlessly, quivering fearfully, as he was being cornered again. 

“D-don’t you dare come near!” he threatened. Although, his voice coming out like a mouse’s squeak certainly did not do him justice. Why did he sound like that?!

Thud. He glanced behind him to find his back already against the bed. There was nowhere for him to run. Tears gathered in his eyes. No, no, no, why must he be in this situation? Why can’t the humans leave him alone?

At the approaching men in white, he bared his teeth, hissing venomously. He knew it was in vain, but-

“Baby! You’re awake! Oh, we were so worried!”

Without warning, the lady had scooped him up in her arms, hugging him closely and tightly. The smell of humans invaded his system, sending him into a panic. He squirmed, trying to push the woman away with all his strength, only to discover he had none. Why were his arms so little and weak?

“Get away from me- who are you?!” he snapped.

The woman lightened her hug on him, and at this distance, he could see how the woman’s eyes shimmered with deep sadness. W-what was that look? What was that supposed to mean? At the sudden appearance of the towering, menacing man, his hairs stood on end, but the man only placed his hand on the woman’s shoulder and looked at him softly.

 “Do you not remember us, Guang? She’s your mother, and I’m your father.”

Mother…father…? These two humans were his mother and father? 

The name his ‘father’ called him as well. Guang. Was that his name? As far as his memory told him, his mother and father were total strangers. His name, Guang, didn’t sound familiar either.

If they weren’t his parents and that wasn’t his name, though, then who were his real parents and what was his actual name? He tried to recall, but he couldn’t think of anything. Not his own name, where he came from, how got here nor the people dear to him. His past, his history, his memory, was utterly, completely, blank. Something told him that it shouldn’t be, so why was it blank?

“I’m sorry, Mr and Mrs Long, but Guang still seems to be confused,” one of the men in white said. He turned to Guang, and Guang growled in warning. The man in white raised both his hands.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to touch you. I just need you to listen calmly, Guang. Your head has suffered some serious damage, and you may have difficulty remembering things, but don’t worry. We’ve fixed you up, so you should be able to return home the next day. It’s a miracle, really, that you’ve managed to survive. You’re a strong little boy, Guang!”

His parents cooed and patted him, showering him in compliments. Guang, however, was still processing what the man in white just said. The words registered in his head and he understood, knowing that it was an occasion to be celebrated. In fact, anyone would have been happy with the news. But Guang - if that was even his name - felt uneasy. Something about all of this, to him, was wrong.

When Guang had calmed down, his parents explained to him the situation. Apparently, a few days ago, Guang was accidentally caught up in a major accident and his head was hit really badly. He was immediately rushed here, the hospital, where he was tended to by the doctors, the men in white. He had not opened his eyes since the incident, until today. 

It made sense, really, the story that led up to this moment, but Guang couldn’t help but to be suspicious of it. Something told him that that wasn’t it, that words of these humans, parents or not, were not to be trusted. However, with no memories nor alternative explanation, Guang could only glumly nod and accept the current story. Perhaps, in due time, he will remember his story.

But he wasn't exactly a patient one. The entire day, his mind was occupied in trying to recall something - anything - from his memories. Because surely, he would remember something. A name, a place, a person, a thing. But try as hard as he might to glare at an empty sheet of paper, it will remain an empty sheet of paper. Even when he stayed up late into the night, he frustratingly still recalled nothing. 

The next day rolled in, and Guang was discharged from the hospital.

While Guang was not happy being looked after by these two humans who claimed to be his parents, he was sort of looking forward to returning home. He had hoped that returning home, somewhere he grew up in, might make him remember something about himself. 

They travelled on foot home. His mother, his father, and him. His mother offered to carry him, even asking him several times throughout their journey, but Guang would always refuse her offer.

“I can walk. I’m fine.” 

The truth is, he would rather not be held so close to a despicable creature. Eventually, his mother relented, requesting to at least hold Guang’s hand, to which Guang reluctantly allowed. He could just wash his hands after.

As they turned a corner, his mother said, “We’re almost there, dear. I’ll tell the servants to prepare a grand feast to celebrate your recovery, so just clean up and take it easy, OK?”

Guang did not respond. Instead, he was on high alert, scanning everything nearby. 

Please, let there be something familiar.

Iron gates came into view. Wrought into it was a crest of a fierce golden dragon, frozen in a great roar. Beyond the gates was a giant manor, a grand and astonishing sight. One look and you can tell that the people who lived here were of high status, that they lived in a realm that transcends the ordinary. 

They stopped before the gates. Guang paled. Don’t tell him…

“And, we’re here! This is your home, Guang, the Dragon Manor!” his father cheered.

Guang stared at the manor. At his family’s manor, the manor that was supposed to be his home, a manor that…he did not recognise. Contrary to his parents’ happy, smiling faces, Guang was downright aghast. 

Thunder roared in the background. Dark clouds rolled overhead, and soon, it started to drizzle. That small flame of hope that he held, sniffed out as easily as a candle in a breeze. 

“It’s raining! Hurry, darling, take Guang inside the manor!” 

If he set foot in the manor he won’t be able to turn back. No, he refused to accept reality as it is. Living with a bunch of despicable humans in a place he didn’t know - to hell with that!

“Guang?!”

Slipping away from his parents’ hold, Guang ran. He ran, ran for dear life. He didn’t know where he was heading to, but he knew he wanted to be anywhere but there. Far, far away. He wanted to be away from his parents, away from that manor, away from everything.

Behind him, his mother and father screamed for his return, but he ignored them, for they were no one but strangers to him. As if shielding him from those humans, the rain poured heavier and heavier until it became a downpour. Eventually, his parents’ voices disappeared, consumed by the whispering of the rain. Splish splash, splish splash, his shoes turning up puddles. The rain seeped into his clothes, enveloping him in its cold, cold embrace. But compared to the disgusting embrace of those humans, this was much more genuine and welcoming.

He didn’t know how long he had run. Only when his legs became tired did he come to a stop, supporting himself with his knees and breathing heavily. He should be safe now. They shouldn’t be able to find him this far, at least not soon. 

He looked around, trying to figure out where he was. He seemed to be on the sidewalk of a street. On both sides, there was a long building lined with many shops. There were barely any humans out on the street right now. The few that he spotted were rather hurried, barely batting an eye in Guang’s direction. Good. Guang couldn’t stand it if he had to interact with another human. 

As he made his way down the street, Guang wondered what he should do next. Escaping from his parents was a moment’s impulse - he hadn’t thought what he would do after that. From the growling and rumbling from his stomach, he figured he was hungry. Perhaps he should find somewhere to eat, but…

He glanced into a lively restaurant. Does he really want to wander into a den of those dangerous humans, just to satisfy his hunger?

A harsh gust of wind blew by, carrying with it a barrage of pelting raindrops. Bracing himself, he lifted his arms in an attempt to shield himself against nature’s attack, but abruptly, the sensation of water tapping on his skin completely disappeared. Did it stop raining? The wild whispering of the rain told himself otherwise. Confused, Guang lowered his arms. It was still a heavy downpour, but strangely, not a drop of water was landing on him. 

“Are you lost?”

A soft, silky voice, smooth to the ears. Through the rain, Guang witnessed a breathtaking sight. Before him was an ethereal figure. Shimmering hair that flowed like water, reflecting a multitude of colours, his skin, white and pale, like jasmines in full bloom, and his eyes, a mesmerising shade of blue, like light dancing off the surface of the ocean.

On his left ear, there hung a frozen tear of a goddess. Wrapped around him was a dark, comforting jacket with white fur. On his belt, silver chains gleamed and clinked crisply as he kneeled down on the same level as Guang. 

This man…was like an angel who had descended from heaven. Guang was certain that he wasn’t there a moment ago. Surely, he would have noticed such an attractive man walking towards him.

Bewitched by the man’s unique appearance, Guang mumbled, half-stupefied, “I’m…not.”

The man stared quizzically, as if wondering how bad of a liar he was. Guang winced. Was he going to get chewed out? After a while, though, the man asked coolly, “What’s your name, little boy?”

Guang met those captivating ocean blue eyes. For some reason, this man felt…different. Unlike everybody else he had come across, Guang didn’t feel hostile or distrusting towards this person, even if they had just met. On the contrary, the man’s presence was akin to a soothing lullaby, calming and relaxing. To Guang, he may be the first real person he had ever met. 

In a headstrong tone, Guang declared, “Guang. My name is Guang.”

The man smiled, his eyes crinkling happily as they did so. “Guang. Guang, meaning light?”

Something about the way the man spoke his name made his heart stir. Shuffling his feet, he muttered, “I guess so…”

“That’s a beautiful name.”

“What about you, mister? What’s your name?”

“Me?” The man pointed at himself.

“Yeah!” Guang crossed his arms. “It’s only right if you give your name in return. Am I wrong?”

The man blinked. Then, he chuckled, melodious like the tinkling of bells. “Yes, you’re right, Guang. Forgive my rudeness. I have many names, but you may call me Sui. Sui, as in water.”