Shun-hithering

The duality is crippling, perplexing enough
To drive me nuts.
On one hand there's the balking,
The avert-and-avoid dance,
The blatant distancing, the rebukes of advances,
The stampede to vacate a twelve-foot sweep,
The empty seats on either side of me,
The backings-off and the edgings-away.
On the other: the air of authority

I must emit, for it's taken for granted--

In grocery stores, in Escher mindscapes,
Ossuary-arcades, and alleyed mazes--

I'm the key to consult, the junior manager,
The kid in the know, the geography whiz,
The encyclopedia of wares in stock,
The aisle navigator,
The rescue mission's crew of one.
How can a single body embody
This paradox,
Both repel and attract the mercurial public?
It must be a mindblowing magnification
Of micro forces at macro levels--

Atomic mysteries at play,
Contrary nature in all its splendor--

That leaves me a total emotional wreck.