ashen smog

loneliness has defined
this old soul.
Bittersweet melody
has tuned my way of 
living.

I don't know how much 
my heart could stand
the weight and wait
for that simple moment,
that single spark
to feel alive
and stop breathing
the ashen smog of reality.

Author's Note

Credits to the photo: smog-free-project-6

"from ashen gray to ashen fields
comes, ashen smog...

do they care if I'm loved?

perhaps I'm too comfortable on my
own space and too confined to be bothered."

thank you for reading,
me...

someday, when i know i've done right
and okay, I'll compile this into a book called:
ashen...

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

As your note mentions, I hope you do indeed do a book about your journey. I recall you were one of my first friends here and it has been amazing to read your heart and have insight into your struggles.
Reality...now there's a word...concept...conundrum. I've heard it said that perception is reality...I am not even sure I understand that! With a heart as gentle and perceptive as yours, it would be difficult for you to live in denial of what is. Perhaps, as some say, we must just adjust our way of viewing our reality and all will be well. That is difficult when the wounds of the past are reopened time and time again and life and loves disappoint us...even worse when we disappoint ourselves.
"the weight and wait
for that simple moment,
that single spark
to feel alive" - I love how you use "weight" and "wait" here...it is a weight sometimes, perhaps always...the weight of waiting...wonderfully expressed!
I am just rambling on here as you have touched off some swirling of thoughts about life, loneliness, sadness, and hope for something that "sparks" into action. This is so good. I hope you know I always wish you well, and hope the smog will clear soon...very soon.

[Pax]

Dear Friend,

I'm always amaze on how you see my heat within the piece... you may call it ramblings but to me they are treasure to understand myself better... I do hope I'll be able to compile them, they're so few right now... i don't write often as i do before... still i cherish them, because they are my journey, my understanding about my life, and my wishes, hoping that someday, I'll achieved something, or finally finding my sparks...

thanks, always...
ever grateful,
to you...

@Pax

[Pax]

ps. love the new pic, you eyes shines beautifully...

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I believe you will find what you seek. Best always, my friend!

[AYVID N]

This poem is so me...
I am forever awaiting that spark, that shot of bliss, the unexpected windfall in my personal life. Sometimes I dread thinking that's all there is to life, this ashen smog of reality. Thanks Pax, for letting me in on me, so beautifully.

[Pax]

this ashen smog of reality, sometimes choke us... we wait, and wait even if it takes forever we still wait... thank you, my friend, i can so relate to your words...

[AYVID N]

You are most welcome. Thank you for sharing your insightful words.

[Sami Khalil]

loneliness has define(d)
this old soul.
Bittersweet melody
has tune(d) my way of
living.

Reality can choke us indeed with its smog and non-clarity. We all seek answers and healthy ones so we can see the journey to completion. We want to rise like the Phoenix from the ashes of the past toa brighter future. Thank you for sharing your masterful pen...:)......................

[Pax]

Thank you, Brother...
your response is a poem itself...
i am always grateful to you...
be well!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome muchly....:)))))

[Dhaye]

Mauubusan ka ng topic about ashen. Joke...

This is so sad. We were born with an imperfect life. And because of such imperfection, we see how weak we are. But God is the reason why we are still standing in the middle of troubles. He makes miracles, sends us our earth angels in different personalities to guide and love us.
We just have to appreciate every little thing around us. Happiness comes from appreciation and contentment...

[Pax]

Salamat, pretty friend....
okay lng yan, hanggang ganito pa yung feelings ko sa buhay, may ma-esusulat pa ako...
my muse is sad all the time kaya. :)