afraid to drown

............. a type of monologues i guess....

Afraid to drown

 

I bathe in milk

The Ripples along the water are as fine as silk

NO! This is not something I fancy

In life, sometimes you just want to try

In the end we just have to stop the stupid lie.

To live or die

To breathe or just drown

Seems everybody wears a crown

NO! I lost mine a long time ago.

Perhaps temporary is all I could have, so I dare go…

Grab what’s on hand

Never expecting high demand

Then I get lost, soaked

And a little broke

To start a new beginning

Is still out of reach, I’m screeching…

Not in pain but in the cloud that blocks the way

Wishing the fear will stay at bay

Never reaching my awful screeching

Oh CHOICES! I wish I ACTED ON YOU differently

NOT fearing disappointing those who support me.

But hey! What is done cannot be undone

I stand in what I’ve chosen, I never run…

I tried my best to stop my mouth

From reasoning-in or reasoning-out

For your choice is your own responsibility

So I stop blaming others for my problematic probability

I bathe again, in warm water this time

Hoping to wash away the disease that struck me

Faults of my own neglect

Laziness and Tiresome - and its ripple effects

Now I fear I’ll drown…

 

Author's Note

a special thanks to Gabrielle for her ice buko(coconut)... :)

a special credit to the picture chosen to the ever inspiring photographer:
manuelestheim


and lastly thanks for reading...

Reviews

[gabrielle]

“I bathe in milk.” –In my province, only the well-off could afford the luxury of literally and figuratively bathing in milk. In this piece, it appears that the poetic voice is not grateful or appreciative of what he has. I was wondering what made him to feel that way. Perhaps, the piece wants to convey that having luxury does not truly guarantee happiness and peace of mind.

“Seems everybody wears a crown. No! I lost mine a long time ago”- I cannot help but recall the rant-poem you penned not so long ago about losing the crowning glory (lol). But of course, “crown” in this piece may mean something that made us proud, which was lost over the years. How the “crown” was lost? The succeeding lines imply that it was his own fault.

“Grab what’s on hand, never expecting high demand”- This line made me think of negotiation. When we feel that we have nothing valuable to offer, chances are we no longer negotiate. We just accept any offer. However, if we only knew that we have so much to offer, that we deserve better, we simply don’t grab any opportunity- we only grab the best opportunity. I think that it is necessary for us to keep on innovating/improving ourselves so that we maintain our confidence.

“To start a new beginning/is still out f reach”- I feel you. One of the hardest decisions to make (at least to me) is to get out of our comfort zones. It’s never easy to start something new as we could never be certain of the result. I think that our apprehension to start something new (in relationship, in career, etc..) originates from our fear of failing.

“Faults of my own neglect/laziness and tiresome and its ripple effect”- Aw! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Never second guess the result of the choice you never made as it will incapacitate us to move on and will blur our vision to see the lessons derived from our decisions.

P.S. Baka gusto mo ng chocolate flavored ice candy. Lol. Baka ang next piece mo will start as, “ I clothe myself in dirt (kulay chocolate yun di ba?) or I drowned myself in caffeine..hehehe. Glad to read from you again :) :)

[Pax]

wow!

very thorough, sharp and amazing... thanks Gab...
here is my response:read morewow!

very thorough, sharp and amazing... thanks Gab...
here is my response:

about the milk thing, that was the intention, having something you can buy doesn't really mean it gives you the content of being happy with it, there is still this nagging feeling that it is not enough... I do appreciate what i have in some aspect i am still blessed, though the situation i am in is sometimes very tiring..

haha, atin atin nalng yang crowning glory na yan...:D nakakatuwa na-alala mo pa yun... your right again, the crown means something more, and i understand its my fault, I accept that fact and i stand tall in the consequences i am facing...

since i lost my crown i just grab whatever opportunity arise, this is not something i am proud off, i don't like it really, sigh...

i always had that fear, my pessimistic side always feeds that fear....

sigh... thanks again Gab, I will try not to be, it just hard battling your own demons...but i never stop trying....

:) haha, chocolate is a nice topic and coffee too, i'll take mental note of that... :D
sa ice candy gusto ko ube :D

[Devanshu Rajput]

Well, very deep write my friend. I can see both positivity and negativity of mind.

I accord with Dhaye, photo and font are great!

I wanted to ask, does this poem also reflects your back pain. Lol

Sorry for that. Just wanted to make you laugh and get you out of Melancholia.

Thanks for sharing.

Devanshu

[SleeplessVolcano]

Hey Pax....this is delightful....I feel like buying a shopping trolley full of full cream milk....:)

The hunger for new beginnings runs deep inside our souls
gnawing at corners of our minds we tend to neglect
We need to be thankful for those fears of drowning
Next time we get ankle deep in despair,
we may decide to stop, and not go any further.

Brilliant poetry my friend!

[Corset]

what magnificent piece! Pax, I swear you just become more and more perfect at perfecting this craft.

[Dhaye]

Natuwa ako sa review ng isang bata jan sa ibaba. Hehe. Mukhang wala na akong masasabi. My mind goes back to being tabula rasa. lol

For me, this is just another version of your other poems in monologue form. Related concept on life's choices and fears.

"For your choice is your own responsibility"--- Suggestion: You can change this line into first person point of view since this is a "monologue" or to be parallel with the other lines.

I like the photo and font.

My fave lines:
"But hey! What is done cannot be undone
I stand in what I’ve chosen, I never run…"

In general, you have done a good job, Pax.

[An owl on the moon]

Each words seems to take us deeper into this stream of you.. your thoughts.. feelings.. all you carry and all that carries you along... So beautifully dark and rich... how you pull the soul into the ocean, my friend.

[writ rajat]

very sheltron
and symposium

[Marie]

Sometimes we are all afraid of drowning in the choices we have made. But there's nothing to do but go on. The water of time washes many things away.

[Pax]

Thank you so much, Marie, my friend, you always say such mouthful and thoughtful words in such short ways... I am so glad you visited... I am ever grateful!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

This was a well-thought out verse...as I read the lines of this...I would suggest to break up the long format and put this in stanzas...to give the feel a bit more time to digest the read...the way you have it...now in a bunch is good...but can be better...if you do as recommended...but again this is just IMPO...maybe you have a reason behind the way this is presented...but each their own...good to see another piece up for view...good day...

[Pax]

Thanks, Sir Glen, and yeah its been awhile i haven't posted something here, Oh yeah i have thought of breaking them into stanza, yet i had a feeling they are all connected into one paragraph like a free flowing of words, laid down to be read down in a straight-forward king of dialog of mine... I am glad you noticed that, I so appreciate your suggestion... :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

You're welcome...write on...