your expression in this is undeniable, but it's not because we are not pretty enough, I have seen some of the most unfortunate people physically fall madly in love, no, love is no respecter of beauty, or station in life, sme are just unlucky until they are lucky, patience my friend.
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
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Easy to give-up. Hard to go forward. But we must.
"Sometimes I am like a rock
Too dull to feel, a surface too rough.
A sense I lost, a unreachable core,
I don’t know how to love anymore."
Powerful thoughts and emotion in the words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
The intense feeling of helplessness is evoked well with this piece, along with the general feeling of numbness that comes with the feeling of just not being enough. As if those two aren't enough, the feeling of general envy towards anybody else for being capable of emotion is strong in this piece, and you've expressed the inner turmoil taking place in the recesses of your speaker's mind quite vividly. Well done.
your expression in this is undeniable, but it's not because we are not pretty enough, I have seen some of the most unfortunate people physically fall madly in love, no, love is no respecter of beauty, or station in life, sme are just unlucky until they are lucky, patience my friend.
"Lucky are those who has an outstanding confidence.
For by it, they don’t live with a doubtful fence.
Freely as they get any wants in their existence."
"Lucky are those who have found love
And be(been) loved.
Lucky are those who bear(the) gift of face.
Easy (it)is for them to find an easy case
for their own taste
- a goal for their own base.
Lucky are those who has (an)outstanding confidence.
For (by)it, they don’t live with a doubtful fence.
Freely as they get any wants in their existence.
I give away smiles, pieces of my lies,
Pretending not having rainy skies.
Hiding my Breathless sighs.
Sometimes I am like a rock
Too dull to feel, a surface too rough.
A sense I lost, a unreachable core,
I don’t know how to love anymore."
This reminds me of the sermon on the mount(Blessed are those) but with a wonderful twist of uniquely Pax style and emotions. Dear brother, although you feel sometimes unlucky, but a lot of people including(Moi) are lucky to call you friend and a fellow poet. Keep giving away your smiles and that reachable core...Excellent...:)......................
Feelings of this poem is strong, a nice read,
I feel luck is only how we look at things, otherwise being a human is a lucky thing in itself
a nice write
thankyou
This reminds me of a song "People who need people... are the luckiest people in the world..." Some of us have too many feeligs and have to mask them; others not enough and must pretend emotion to give the world.
Dear Visitor
Hello there!
I am Willyam Pax from the Philippines and now residing here in Saudi Arabia for work. I am not a writer but a sensitive aspiring artist who expresses himself into .. more..