doors of possibilities

 

 

 

Doors in the empty Twilight.

I am just a single step away,

Yet never finding the courage

               to just open one of them.

 

Possibilities…

 

A thousand sighs as I wait.

I stood still, as I hold into the moments,

Looking, looking, & still looking…

 

All I wanted is a flickering sign

For me to barge in

without any hesitation

and bleed in accord to whatever

    outcomes that lays within.

Author's Note

credits to the image:
closed doors by Amandine Van Ray

there are some doors that you cannot just barge in and take the leap of faith or in our dialect "bahala na". Sometimes you needed to understand it more of what's out there, and feel if its the right time, that you are ready no matter what...

Reviews

[KAin]

A soul in turmoil, at the edge of something barely discernible. The truth lies beyond the door, but what is the truth, and where does it lead?
The twilight doors lead into darkness, but there are pale lights there, beckoning us on.
A thousand sighs, filled with melancholy, and indecision...
"Will I be right?", "Can I do this?"
Faith is hard to find in uncertain times... but that's when it matters most...

Well written.

[Pax]

I kept reading your questions my friend, and it taken me a long thinking to answer… I always find that truth is always subjectable depending on what the person believes in or taught to or experienced with. So I guess I can only say that I think I already knew in me what lies behind that door, I knew it or I knew where it leads to, I just have to be sure first that this is the path I wanted that leads to another sets of doors I am unfamiliar with. So I think the first step is the crucial part in my decision.

"Will I be right?", "Can I do this?" --- ahh, yes, those questions does lingers in mind... I know deep within me, can do this, also somehow I already knew it will be right & alright in the end, but not today, nor tomorrow… someday when all things are in level of my feelings/time/place, before I jump another high mountain.

Indecision and uncertainties, would always be there in the road, it’s part of our life on how we decide everything in our daily lives. It needed time and space to think it through with a little faith, surely will surpass anything we decide.

Thank you very much my friend…

[Frieda P]

Profound Pax, Reminds of of Luke 11.9 'So I say to you, Ask and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.' Sometimes we just have to take that leap of faith and have the courage to open those doors or we'll never know. Try knocking first my friend. :)

[Pax]

Hugs, Thanks my friend...

What if I told you I already knew what’s behind the door I am a step away… Sami says: “be patient before you barge and trust yourself before others.” And I think he’s right, I need to trust myself first, and also be sure about this, many times in my daily decisions I am clouded with doubts here and there. I don’t want to set things in a rush of faith, I want to be sure first, be ready that everything is in place according to what I really wanted. Because I think my life before & at present is decided by mere chance(going with the flow on how life’s choices presented itself), & sometimes leaping into a decision accordingly to other’s opinion like you should do this or that. I don’t want that anymore, I put a lot in my patience, thinking through & through until I find the right feeling, the right amount of readiness, & right time/place. I guess I can only say this door is one of the important decisions of my life.

Ms. F, my friend, I am grateful to you, & appreciative on your review. Bless you my friend.

[Frieda P]

Sami is a smart man, of course we shouldn't be persuaded by what other's think is right for our own well being, yet sometimes we're frozen in fear of past mistakes and never tend to open those doors of opportunity.

[Frieda P]

Sorry that got away from me, before I had finished my thought.
Only you can decide that for yourself Pax....I hope if you should decide to open that door, it brings you nothing but happiness, you deserve it my sweet friend. Hugs to you. x

[Pax]

big smiles here, a huge thank you my friend... & big warm hugs...

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

Life is full of doorways. Honestly, I think that's where the ideas of parallel universes and alternate timelines come from, the idea of doorways before us, the choices we are going to take a step forward...or simply avoid opening that door. And this reminds me of my own novel...Sinister Room (which I am going to post an excerpt of it maybe this week), because it deals with a doorway and the choices one could make. Nevertheless, brilliant write.

[Pax]

Thank you so much my friend, it is very true of what you said, life is full of doorways, and that's what this piece is meant, it is a reflection of my emotional journey. Also, I am fascinated by parallel/alternate universe, it will be a fascinating additions to your writes my friend, I am glad you read this...

[Aya]

A thousand sighs indeed. Very well written piece i felt every word. And i relate strongly to this right now.
All i wanted was a flickering sign" beautiful.

[Pax]

Aya, my friend, its nice to see you, hope your doing fine.... Thank you very much, I am so glad you can relate to this, & I'm still waiting for that sign... I appreciate this very much my friend...

[Aya]

Nice to see you too pax :) you're welcomed

[Nusquam Esse]

I really REALLY like this one, the image in mind that supplements the one you provided; they work together to really make me ponder the idea. I am the type of person who tends to be distant to many things and many people; for better or for worse. I look down the hallway, and carefully examine each door; I make sure that no one is watching, and then I brush my hand across the door feeling the grain, was this door built to last... to matter? I feel the doorknob, is it hot? Would opening the door cause me to be engulfed in flames? And then I simply lose myself on the fringe, holding back still... part of me cautious, but an even greater part of me savoring the sensation of opening a door which someone must have made. What were they thinking when they made it? Is it meant for just anyone to open, or is it like Excalibur which will only open for me? If the door was made hastily, and for just anyone, then I will move on; but if it feels captivating, magical, surreal in the possibilities it contains, then I will finally cast it wide open... If I have the confidence to open the door, then I will not open it slowly or cautiously, because the decision has been made; and I will pour who I am into throwing it open, to lose myself in the next phase of opening a door... wandering the next hallway, and enjoying its myriad of doors... all of which feel more intimate than the hallway before. And so I love taking my time to fully savour the journey in what seem to be infinite hallways. If I had rushed it, I would have never seen the end of those doors anyway; but with a heart engulfed in pathos, I can enjoy every moment, and every potential moment, in those emotions I hold dear, at the fringe. Again, it should be clear just how much I adore, and can relate with this one. Don't rush these sorts of things; although many things may say you should... is a door which fade away simply because you want to lose yourself in its complexity and meaning really a door you should have cast open to begin with? Life is not a race, so make every gesture count to the things and people that truly matter, and open doors with the greatest of discrimination, but also the greatest of passion. This honestly reminds me of an old story I wrote (the second short story I ever tried my hand at, so it was written before I joined here) called Bridge to Trust; I am sure the comparison between bridges and doors should not be lost on you. Thanks again for sharing this personal, and emotionally moving piece... it may not be bold, but I can feel a transient pathos leaking with every word... so wistful.

[Pax]

this means so much to me my friend, your encouragement and knowing me in this write & the way i write... yeah, this is one of my personal piece, that I am still trying to ponder, waiting, & still looking... sometimes I wish there were easy ways to just open it, without having that fear, & losing every bit of courage I've learned throughout the years... I am thankful to you, because i know it will be okay someday whenever I am quite ready... because i know when i open one door and then it will leads to another and another until i reach the okay stage to move on to another special door... there are too many doors out there... we just have to take careful notice, consideration, caution, & observation just be ready... yes, your are so right, life is never been a race of who's better than the other of all the people surrounds you, it will always the betterment of who you are as a person, how you live your life without aggravating others that your or I should be like this and like that because that’s what others think, you choose your own doors to open, there are signs that needs take careful notice & thinking, because being impulsive in any decision makes it feels rush and sometimes trouble is not that far away… we’ll know when we feel it and thought about it thoroughly… I am so glad you can relate to it, greatly to you, always!

[Nusquam Esse]

Rather than trying to start open doors quickly, just learn to change why you open them slowly. Put aside fear as a reason, and start opening them slowly because it is plain and simply something you enjoy. Sort of like eating something slow because you are afraid of choking... vs. you want to savour the flavour.

[Rossen]

The thief of time...brilliant way with words.. well finished..

[Pax]

smiles, thanks Rossen, you are brilliant yourself, I am glad you like this piece... I appreciate you reading this...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i used to barge in when i was younger, but life has taught me to knock lightly, and wait to see who or what opens the door, and how i am greeted, before i step inside.

i like this analogy. the poem also reminds me of an old hermans hermits song..."this door swings both ways, lets in dark and light"

[Pax]

thanks, my friend... me too, in my teenage years and younger, i was a bit of try this & go with this, never minding about everything, just go, go whatever/whenever I wanted to... now not so much life have taught me, how to learned in all our impulsiveness when we are young… Thank you so much mr. J…

[AprilRN1210]

Those doors can be quite daunting when we know not what lie on the other side.. we look and look yet, rarely find the answers that we seek.. It takes great courage to just blindly "barge in" not knowing what is ahead.. what do you do if that "flickering sign" never comes?.. thought-provoking write.. well done, my friend..

[Pax]

great question my friend, ahh, yes, there are times I tell myself to just do it, but then it never feels right... & it does cross my mind the 'what if it never comes' -- the doubt that always cloud our good judgement... so i've learned how to handle it, because its quite normal to have doubts, but that doesn't meant we should stop believing it isn't there... we'll know went we do find it whenever it comes... :)

I thank you greatly for shedding light to my journey my friend, I am glad you asked that questiona and glad you came by & read this piece...

[AprilRN1210]

it was my pleasure sir.. I often wonder, if I will know what to do when the time comes, as doubt and fear usually have a way of clouding that judgement like you said.. I agree, never stop believing..

[Pax]

thank you again, and that reminds me of the lyrics by journey, it says:

"don't stop believin
hold on that feelin"

ops typo: 'we'll know when we do find it, whenever it comes'

[Dhaye]

This time we're different. I am taking the risks of opening a new door for me. I just rely on faith.
But then it's you. We have our own reasons in our choices in life.
I like the concept. I can relate to it. Thanks for sharing this.

[Pax]

I don't know pretty friend, there are some reasons that I don't want to rely on faith alone, I needed to be ready first... Salamat ng Marami....

[Dhaye]

You're welcome. You know what, noon pa nakakatuwa ang tawagan natin, naalala mo? Manong tawag ko sa iyo tapos Lola tawag nyo sa akin, kay Marc naman ay Pare. Hehe. Ngayon, bro tawag ko sa iyo, pretty friend naman tawag mo sa akin. Hehe. Tumatanda kaya ako, why parang bumabata ang title ko? Ibalik si Lola!

[Pax]

di na kasi ako yung tao na segi lng ng segi, bahala na kung anong mangyari... this time kasi I wanted to be sure before I go... okay ba yung concept? common naman yata, but I just based it in my current situation...

ps..mas okay yung pretty friend, sweet and nice to hear, lola, is old, part of the history na kasi di na tayo completo...

[Dhaye]

Ayaw mo ng Manang or Ate? Mas okay yun. Basta I want to be old. I want to be called as old. Kaso childish pa ba ako? Lol

[Pax]

kaya nga di ka na pwding maging lola kasi paano magiging old ang childish...haha

[Dhaye]

I want to be old. Period. Lol

[Dhaye]

A playful old. Hehe