shadow of doubt

 

 

In the blurry seconds of my daily life

Musing the elusive Muse

Seeing the unseen Imaginings

I spilled my undecided minorities

                     - of the future, so bleak…

 

Why-oh-Why?

Do I fear the shadow of doubt???

Dreary weary soul has loosen his edge

                             into a fading dream, unfulfilled…

 

Needles of Reality

    pinned-up to the heart as if it’s normal thing

It stings a bit, yet it’s bearable…

I know & bear the sharp truth

It doesn’t hurt that bad, because I understand,

with all the compassion I could master,

will to live the life I feel for what’s right

 

so…

I persist the moment I resist

              the overflowing dark void.

I light-up the candle

       to stay warm as darkness blinds many things.

                                      and becomes cold.

 

Then…

I walk in a darkened path with a heavy burden

I don’t mind as long as...

I hold so dear the light so clear,

   for I can live another day

      until I find the fuel of my being…

 

Author's Note

This piece is very raw, written today as I was trying to force myself to write, then I felt like this is an outburst of my emotional journey as of the moment. Darkness is at bay and I am getting agnostic on my faith - thinking I am probably agnostic, but no, I try to light up the candle that I always have, for me to hope and to continue on believing of what's right of my own understanding...

Credits to the photo:
un inconnu by tuminka

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

Blurry seconds of daily life in the throes of the darkness of what seems to be an eternal darkness symbolizing our inability to know the future and the torch that lights the path forward just a bit, so we can have an idea of where we are going.. Or perhaps the torch symbolizes the knowledge and acceptance that we don't nor will ever know the future, and the light represents the comfort we have in our surroundings, allowing us to move with relatively less fear in the darkness while we await something to let us know what our purpose is. Stellar write, I enjoyed it.

[Sugar Plum ♥]

Really amazing work, dear poet! here I see the repeated topic of your poems: the doubt in your way, uncertainty in yourself, losing yourself, but still there is hope sparkling, which is always revealed in the end. and i love that! You write in the same way, as the choice of your art-works...little obscure, little cold, abstract and very impressive (working from inside your mind). I like the ambivalent couples of darkness and light, shadows and rays, reality and dreams, decisions and doubts. All is mixed together and underlines i so good way. You said "Darkness blinds many things", and I feel that so much! In darkness you feel most cold, and most alone. My favorite is the end verse:

for I can live another day
until I find the fuel of my being…

:: nour ::
Oct. 23.

even so late!

[Rob Santana]

A dark yet honest piece. Expressing ones emotions can be difficult. You didn't hold back here and created something strong and real. Nice Job Pax. I really like this poem.

[Pax]

Thanks, Rob, my friend... I glad that you like this piece... sometimes we just needed to let out the feeling or it will consume me whole... I so appreciate you reading this piece...

[Renée]

A walk we all take Paxy… I love the last line
"I hold so dear the light so clear,
for I can live another day
until I find the fuel of my being…"

We each have a different fuel.. I know what mine is… do you know yours ? ( :

[Pax]

thanks dear friend, its nice seeing you passed by and read me, I am glad, & so far, no I haven't found it yet, someday, until then I keep on holding on... I so appreciate you,hugs tight-

[Renée]

it is lovely to read your work (( hugs )) ( :

[Cerise]

Its a wonderful piece...i love the ending..it gives a hope...it doesnt mattr watever happens as long as u hav hope dat evytng wll be aite.....the piece is soo filled wid feelings and emotions i could relate to it...a phenomenal piece wll done..

[Pax]

thank you so much, my friend...

[RJ]

"I persist the moment I resist...." I don't think i've ever felt an affinity for a line of poetry like this before. It speaks of the need to rebel, to fight back, to ask why? To exist in spite of ones detractors is the sweetest prize.

[Pax]

your so right, my friend, there is too many bottled-up emotions in this piece, that just needed a release... thank you so much for your words...

[An owl on the moon]

I love how you relate the power of this poem... flowing through you so fierce... this struggle of faith and light as the darkness begins to cover you. A powerful fight you face.. but you are stronger still, my friend.

[Pax]

I want to thank you, always my good friend, you words brings light, & I am glad with that...

[Ruth]

The light is only ever a flicker away and yet so far ... excellent execution hon x

[Pax]

Thank you so much my friend...

[acidmonkey]

truly fond this poem to be a huge metaphor in itself. It can be taken many ways, by many people. That is why I love this poem you pushed out, although it was forced I loved it.

[Pax]

Thank you very much my friend, there are many things that cloud my mind, I was glad I expressed it through and penned this piece. I so appreciate you reading this, grateful!

[Zoey M]

it seems like u have gone through severe situations...

[Pax]

I had been in tough situations, I am just hoping that this is just a passing shadow that I can find answers as soon as the fogs dissapear... Thank you for your kind visit my friend... So glad you came by, thank you...

[Zoey M]

well i wish u come out of your problems soon...well i suggest u to share your problems with someone whom u think is trustworthy...welcome..