untouched

cheezy and corny stuffs, i think it feeds the soulful romantic heart... haha, i hope so...

 

Boy: Hey! Know what?

Girl: What is it?

 

Boy: have you ever feel what is it like for our skin to touch.

            To feel the warmth - skin to skin…

            To feel the our heart beat pumps the love we felt of each other…

            To feel your lips against mine…

            To feel your stare closer and breathe the air you breathe.

            To do these all without complications on our bodies…?

 

Girl: Do I ever dream of that day? To feel those aching feelings?

            Yes, too much that I ache in need whenever I see you…

            Yes, too much that I hated all the barriers and complications we face…

            Yes, too much that I long for it every second of a day…

            Thinking of all this and that, it hurts me, but the devastation of losing you will be too much.

            So I am content to have you around than none at all, to have you beside me is

more than enough to face all the complications of this world,

a reason enough for me to keep on living,

fighting the disease that struck our race…

… I love you …

 

Boy: This is why I love you so, you give me so much for us to fight for.

            You give me strength, I never knew I have…

            You give us life, I never knew we have…

            There is something about you, being near,

makes me feel happy,

makes me feel loved,

and makes me feel that I am needed.

… I love you too …

Author's Note

credits to the image a very talented photographer:
I'll be back in 1000 by Sophie Black

A picture prompt for my book jiffy's love

this was written last month(march), just published now, I still have 3 more I'll published later...

Imagine a world that we humans can’t make contact with each other.
Imagine how love still shape us no matter what the odds…
Human race have struck by a disease that when we get in contact we slowly die.

Reviews

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Hmm, interesting concept, humans not being able to physically touch each other would cause many mental and social stigmas. There are many studies that show how much touch is correlated to growth, with infants and children and emotional stability with adults...the way human nature would change with this concept of no physical comfort would effect society and each person emotionally in unfathomable ways. Very thought provoking and wonderful idea. I love it. The poem of longing and intense love is very heartwarming... beautiful work, Pax!

[Pax]

it was supposed to be a poem, but as the words formed in each dailog it felt like a short story of two lovers very near yet touching means death for both. Oh, I never knew touch is such an important part of growth, I just realized now as you've said it. Not only it comfort us, but it provides us strenght, perhaps that is why a hug a day you'll feel reassured throughout the day. :D
thank you so much my friend, that info. made me think this world is quite impossible, and this world might be too tragic to live in... the sense of touch must not be taken away, or else our emotional stability will be in chaos...

[Thea]

So I saw this when I randomly visited WC...
People say that touches, whether sensual or casual, are important symbolisms that humans should posses in a certain relationship. I guess simple glances and distant smiles aren't just enough to reach one's heart. The idea made me realize that it is truly essential for human beings to have contact with one another, something that deeply connects and indulges us to the chief emotions of our friends, family and of course, our loved-one.
This was indeed a creative and lovely work. The exchanges of dialogue really made my heart flutter. Keep writing and I sincerely wish you the best in this site. :)
100/100!

[Pax]

Hey my good friend Kabayan....

How are you? I Hope your doing good, I am glad you visited and reviewed this piece. So glad to see you around. To tell you honestly, there is something in this piece, I see myself in, and that's perhaps the hidden message here. And you seeing the value of this piece, makes me thought of that hidden message, I realized many things after reading all the review. SO I am really happy to all. and to you too...

I sincerely appreciate this, thank you very much...
Pax ~

[Thea]

Hello, kamusta rin? I'm doing fine. Just busy but I'm still trying to find some time to visit the cafe since this is like home to me. Your poem evokes so many emotions. In love ka ba? Hahaha! Jk. I'm glad that you're on your way to self-discovery and realizations. Keep it up.

And no worries, you're welcome. ^^

[Pax]

hahaha, I hope so but I am not :D, just being corny and lonely at that time when I wrote this 2 months back... being lonely is a good muse too, i supposed.. :)

I think, when I started writing last two years ago, and now I am still the beggining of my journey, a long road to go... and I feel the same to you too, this site always feels like home to me, and having a family here in litereture's creative way, I feel not so alone in my journey...

I haven't seen you posting yet, busy ata? I wish you the best for your career, my young kabayan... :)

[Thea]

Yie, hahaha! That's all right. I've read from a book that depression is a writer's friend. I personally think that it helps us to unleash the inner talent inside us although sometimes, it appears very unreliable but ok, the author has a point.

Aw, nakaka-miss tlga dito sa totoo lang. Reading those honest and constructive reviews really pushed me to write more and more. However, I seldom write poems anymore. I'm more into fictional stories lately. I tried publishing some on a different website but I don't know, sometimes, the reviews do not satisfy me because they're focused on the plot/characters and not with my writing style (although I'm thankful!). It's just writerscafe's environment had shaped me into something unexplainable.

Thank you. Unfortunately, I'm no longer planning to post my works here anymore. TT TT

[Pax]

that is true indeed, there is theraputic effect in writing, like they say...

yup, that is so true in my case as well, i am shape up not only as a writer but as me as well, through poems I learned self descovery and learning with myself and to others as well. I am grown as a writer of sort when I am here, so I owe my thanks to this home...

i am sorry about that, no probs, I hope you'll succeed on what you chose in life...great future is up ahead they say, cheers to that :)

[Thea]

Yays. We have so many days to discover more of the things and talents that we can offer to the audience. I sincerely hope that you'll find that inner passion that everybody's looking for. Good luck and more power. I will keep an eye on your work if I have time. :)

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

Wells, they have a very poetic way of conveying their emotions. This was an enjoyable read. I wish you much luck with your work

[Pax]

is it really poetic, well maybe at first because it was supposed to be a poem, with that, thank you very much, I am glad you find it enjoyable to read... good luck to you too ms. Cher... :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the poem. The conversation gave life and purpose to the words. I like the emotion and the want in the words. Always good when two people are aiming at the same things. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Pax]

thank you so much my friend....

[Dhaye]

Hello, Pax! I think those lines are familiar to me. I love the concept of being each other's strength. You are good in making dialogues in screenplays like this, and even in stories (evidence is how it is easy for you to check dialogues in my novellas).

However, I have seen minor slips in this piece. You know how I wanted to help as you help me also in my writings.

"To do *this all without complications on our bodies…?" ---Did you mean *these?-- "To do all of these..."
"To feel those aching *feeling?" ---feelings
" Yes, too much that I *longed for it every *seconds of a day…"--- "Yes, too much that I long for it every second of the day"
"Thinking of all *this it hurts me,"--- "Thinking all of these hurts me."
"to have you *besides me is "--- beside (must be a preposition not an adverb)
"This is the *part why I love you so"--- omit part, not necessary---"This is why I love you so..."

Hope those can help, Pax. Thank you for checking my writings also.
Good luck to your book.

[Pax]

which line ba yung familiar? hmm... thanks pala ha, I already made the changes.....

[Dhaye]

Familiar yang buong story. Parang nabasa ko na yan somewhere? Uy, I'm not saying may katulad at may nauna sa iyo ha? Baka dialogue yan ni lola at ni lolo...LOL.

You're welcome.

[Pax]

I am not saying this concept is quite original, may pinangalingan rin yung idea na yan, I bend it a little to put my artistic creativity and originality in some ways(kahit papano)... When I wrote this, I remember the tv show I used to watch.. yun segoro yung muse ko, haha, I am not sure if your familiar with it, kasi US tv series yun eh... :) at kung may na una man sa concept na ito, well it really depends on how we deliver our creative juices...