I am so blue

 

 

 

I am so blue,

Yet I have no clue.

Oh' why I’ve lost you?

 

Perhaps the reason was you or me

Or we’re just not meant to be.

 

Times spent raised big question “?”

Expectations bring too many unexpected intentions.

 

I’ve lost something I cared for

Now I lay on the ground, a sleeping contour

Not minding the dirtiness of the dirt & hard rocks

   penetrating my skin as if it’s a comfortable bed flocks.

 

The pillow case of pretention is keeping me at bay

   grounded as if I am okay.

Yet I know deep inside, knew how I missed you,

   making my life a bluish hue.

Author's Note

Credits to the photo:
dream catcher

Reviews

[Cryingkate]

Pax.. I felt a deeper significance was underlying beneath your words and expression of blues so, i went and googled the meaning of the color blue and here is what I found.. I don't think it is coincidence that on Christmas Eve you deeply saw blue and esp. After your last poem.
Check it out ! http://crystal-cure.com/blue.html
it said :
"Blue is the coolest color - the color of the sky, ocean, sleep, twilight. The ancient Egyptians used lapis lazuli to represent heaven. Blue symbolizes the Virgin Mary. A pure blue is the color of inspiration, sincerity and spirituality. Blue is often the chosen color by conservative people. Blue is the calming color. That makes it a wonderful color to use in the home, especially for babies. Blue is so soothing that is a good choice for pajamas. Dark blue is the color of truth and moderation. A blue iris means your friendship is very important to me. Wednesday's color is blue. Blue gemstones to wear to feel calm are blue sapphire and blue topaz. Lapis lazuli and azurite are said to heighten psychic power.

Blue Energy

Blue gives a feeling of distance. Artists use it to to show perspective. This is a good way to understand the energy of the color blue - it allows us to look beyond and increase our perspective outward. It contains a cool vibration that is helpful to communication.

The vibration if blue can be used to open energy flow where it is blocked. Using blue to relax will encourage feelings of communication and peace."

I believe that we each tune into thoughts and realities of our own paths and understanding. It may not be reality for some as is with others. But it seems your blue and Christmas have a connection that you are tuned with at this moment. Neat....

[Pax]

I keep reading and reading the information you find, and I still find the connection of who I am and why blue has a great significant effect on my current life.

Do you know that I love the sky when it's blue, Do you know as an artist I like to used blue or anything I paint blue plays a significant part aside from green – and this two plays a huge part on the color system, perhaps because they are one of the primary colors. Do you know that I apply to my life the golden rule of balance and moderation, though I may not achieved everything in balance but I do try my best. Smiles, that’s all.

When I wrote this piece and the empty canvas, the time difference is just two or one day. The first line of this piece, on which it started it all. “I am so blue” - that is true… I can’t open any more details other than that. That is one reason that I feel so tired sometimes even though I am not so tired at all. Sometimes I just wanted to dream, or just fade away to nothingness… But like I always said to myself, I will not give up.

Thank you so much for this values information you’ve search. And Marie is right, it fits me well. I really, really appreciate this my friend.

[Cryingkate]

Pax, I was so grateful when I saw Marie's reply.. i didn't realize till after reading everything that I sort of left a big package of nuts and bolts ,at the door without any instructions.
But yes.. I feel she is right. I don't know what made me look it up but I have learned to listen to those little nudges.
I felt even better after Marie's reply. Evidently ,she feels it too.
There must be something good going to happen and maybe everything is pointing to tell you that. Maybe it's saying to be at rest? I don't know. I just know that all will be well.
And I think your writing will point the way.
Well.. I don't know if it is OK where you are to wish you this night the custom saying so I will just say Happy Merry Holidays :-)

[Pax]

Thank you much!

[writing mojo]

the line about contour really stuck with me along with the "pillow case of pretension"..wow great lines for such a phonetic piece...great work

[Pax]

Thank you so much my friend for coming by and your wonderful feedback.

[writing mojo]

no Pax I read this again, and after reading the other reviews.. I think this piece deserves so much more than my previous dealt with...Pax this piece has a soul to it's..a lost that can bring you to the edge cutting you with the glacier from buried tear along the way.. The circulatory of this piece is just that, being severed and left danging in the blue in the face...
it takes a lot of courage to reflect on such advents...and i see your tears in the mirror..

[Pax]

I really do appreciate that my friend. You made me realized that when i wrote this, I had this feeling that wanted to come out. and it did in words. thank you so much for your encouraging words.

[NeiL ArandA]

I saw that this is your featured piece . Its painfully sad my friend .
" A familiar road
You trod and pass thru daily
Somehow never ever get used to it .
Memory lane gnawed on your gut
Of what could have been. Perhaps
you still contemplated you made that
U Turn .

[Pax]

I have contemplate but never did regret
Some memories lingered, I never did forget
read moreI have contemplate but never did regret
Some memories lingered, I never did forget

the familiar road, never gets old
hoping, looking forward for another story to unfolds.

that's my responsed to your very nice poem, thank you. I am glad with your reflective response, I really do appreciate that.

[asdarkeyesclose]

losing someone can be tough. i loved the heart-felt undertones the rhyme nice and subtle not to heavy on the mind. this one left me feeling a little sad but then we poets love a touch of melancholy. fantastic.

[Pax]

oh, your back, its nice to see you my friend, Belated merry christmas and advance happy new year... thank you, I really appreciate you coming by and give me a valued review, its another blue christmas for me.

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

I am suddenly reminded of the song Blue by Eiffel 65

[Pax]

Thank you Cher, I like that song, I have just see it now, that this piece could relate to that song.

[Baby Ricochet]

Some good rhymes coming from a poet that writes free verse. I like it. It has a song quality about it. Give it a few chords and a chorus and you might just have a hit recording,

[Pax]

ahh my friend, thank you. I really wanted to write lyrics someday, and this piece just came out of the blue. Maybe in time I'll be able to write a good chorus and someday someone will be able to put a chords on it. I'm glad with this review.

[Justine]

I love the color blue - so many different shades, moods, tones, depths. It equates well to the theme here where "too many unexpected intentions" flood and drown everything in an instant. I like "pillow case of pretention" and the secrets it keeps. The sadness flows effortlessly throughout in quirky rhyme, making this a really fine poem. Well Done ! Justine

[Pax]

Thank you Justine, I am glad you have seen the different shades of its core behind the rhyme. I really appreciate it.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Bro, I won't have any review comment for you already knew what's in my mind about this. LOL

Here's my response poem:

You always say you are so blue, do you hear what you say?
You're there alone, crying in vain in the dirty ground where you lay

The missing piece, your precious one, is whom you always want
But have you tried to stay with her or it's only in a rant?

Pretension is your great pillow, your bed sheet is your lie
When you want to say a sweet "Hello" you would always say "goodbye"

Now, who's wrong here, isn't it you, pretentious, lonely boy
You made your life with that color, you played it like a toy?

If only you are strong enough to say what's on your heart
Perhaps you'll not be blue, my dear, for no hearts are apart...

Not finished, bro. I'll continue it to my page. Don't be too harsh to me. Nothing's personal here. LOL. Thanks for this motivating piece. =)

[Pax]

I like the poem, and I have nothing personal rebuke for that. Something ache when I read it. Truth is something crazy, something painful, something that you'll need to accept - a part of you that you'll need to embrace. Perhaps I choose this path, i fear many things, even the truth behind the mirror. That man in the mirror...lol, naging kanta na..hehe...

And I just want to clarify, this is not a rant, I am not impassioned or angry... it's simply releasing a lonely feeling. And I set aside the wants of the heart, for now, because when I want it, i want to be fully ready, not like in the past.

thanks my pretty friend for this lovely poem, and I believe it reflects something in me.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Rant...hehhe...I can't find something to rhyme with "want". That's forced rhyming. Hehehe.

[Pax]

ha! so panalo nanaman ako...hehehe

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

At Bakit? Ang challenge ko kahapon, couplets ang response mo. Ngek, wala kang couplets na naisagot noh? Talo ka pa rin.

[Pax]

sorry, I don't respond that way... :)
di ko nga alam what is couplets. ganun pala yung challenge, so i see, no problem, pero sabi mo unfinished pa, its still left hangging. hmmm

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Palusot si brother...Couplets- 2 lines...couple of lines. Sus, tama na yang poem na yan. Sakto na length nyan. Nakakagawa ka nga ng mahabang poem, 2 lines lang hindi ka maka-respond? Accept mo na kasi, talo ka rin naman paminsan-minsan. Mahirap yung laging panalo. Hehe

[Pax]

hahaha, no comment...LOL

[SparklingYou]

A very heart touching poem Kuya Pax. It feels so great to know that people write down a piece of them to atleast somehow lessen the huge amount of pain they are feeling. And I can feel your longing and pain in this poem. When you're feeling blue just look up and realize that someone is always there with you. Amazing write! :)

[Pax]

hey kabayan, thank you for for this great encouragement. I will sure look up, to see that God will guide me through this. I really do appreciate this>

[Corset]

I'm a little blue this Christmas too Paxie, missing people we love is hardest at the holidays, but hang in there k? It's a little good with a little bad, that's life for us, you have expressed this so well in this poem,
the last stanza especially effects me.

[Pax]

hugs, I am glad I can share with you this kind of feeling. I am not so alone anymore with this kind of feeling that bugs you more in times of this season. I am surviving, hope you too...

[Corset]

Hugs back at you Pax

[Anand Sehgal]

blue stands for pain, blue stands for toxicity !
good write !
**************************************************************************************************************************************************

[Pax]

thank you so much my friend. Indeed blue can be toxic and painful...