Candles of Shame

~ Picture Prompt-Semi fiction, little fragments of my introspection…

 

 

 

 

~ Candles of Shame ~

 

I cry because I needed to be

to release something in me.

Every tear brings moist to my dried lands.

For I, a mere man

seems so damage, yet so normal

or perhaps just fragile, easily breakable

and sometimes emotionally unstable.

 

You laugh because it’s fun,

Looking on a dreaded face

saying such a waste

then disregarded for my bitter taste.

 

I smiled an emptied smile

I laughed a pretend laugh

That’s my response to your jokes

As if it didn’t hurt

For I don’t want to upset you with my unpleasant retort

 

In time I learned to tolerate the vicious screams of my thoughts

Then mold them into candles

Hold them near, embracing it as part of my soul

And burn each shameful experienced into smokes

Now wrap with melted wax

Relax in this shell I created

a prisoner of my own doing

It’s ok, I am fine

I am strong enough to accept

enough will to intercept

the flooding negativity

with my passive cry for unity

and through my spacious heart,

 

the pain is bearable.

Author's Note

photography by : ezorenier
pyros
luminiscencia

When I wrote this, i remember this lines I made last month and did not published it
here is the exerpt:

I am the next person behind you, easily noticeable & can be subjective to many jokes
But you know what; think of what you must, I ignore people who disrespect my being.
Some jokes have some boundaries that identify either it is funny or just plain insulting.
I am easily likeable, yet I am not always your play thing.

I also remember the poem last time I became a joke

It seems like being funny or acting lively, seems to have its consequences... yet I still dare to act one myself... by pretending so, the feeling rubs on my being, often times I lie to myself, to believed that it's still a happy world, despite everything else...

Reviews

[asdarkeyesclose]

'Hold them near, embracing it as part of my soul
And burn each shameful experienced into smokes'


a truly frightening image, but it does describe the pain and pain is not something easy to handle. you have a way of touching the heart with your writing, there is a lot of passion in your words, a strong individual who refuses to be put down and rightly so. we are all phoenix's and can rise out of the ashes, stronger and more human. stunning writing.

[Pax]

The very first i saw the image, my heart spoke, that i have found the image that tells the burdens of the heart... i didn't even think about the painful struggle the person goes through just to take that photo but all i could think about was the baggage i carry...

Thank you my friend, and thank you more...

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I felt that this was extremely powerful, emotional yet vigorously drafted, and ingenious how your entangle your ordeal with moulding candle wax, very clever indeed and these elements indeed add to the strength of your words, great, moving, writing.

[Pax]

your words means so much my friend, thank you...
touching this emotions leaves me speechless, sometimes...
that is why it takes time for me to come back, here...
reading the words of my friends and you included makes me want to be strong for myself...
i am always grateful to you...

[Great Aunt Astri]

Very vivid expose of feelings surely many of us must suffer from. The image of candles burning on the body is a somewhat gruesome, buy very effective way to describe these feelings. I've got quite a few burning candles on my body!

[Pax]

the photo pierce through my heart the moment i saw it that dug deeply that i was able to expressed myself... my friend, I am always thankful to you....always!

[Sami Khalil]

"Now wrap with melted wax



Relax in this shell I created



a prisoner of my own doing



It’s ok, I am fine



I am strong enough to accept



enough will to intercept



the flooding negativity



with my passive cry for unity



and through my spacious heart,



the pain is bearable."
Wow. A very heartfelt and touching poem with acceptance of the self as the springboard to a better future and deeper experiences. Sometimes we have to burn our candles( sacrifice ) to light up the way for others but the greatest sacrifice is fighting the demons within. Many people take things or people as jokes but less they know that they are insensitive to others and indifferent too... Putting someone down will always have negative effects even for the abuser...A great poem Mr. Pax...:)

[Pax]

wow, my amazing friend, i am really, really, really grateful and thankful, know that always...

"Sometimes we have to burn our candles( sacrifice ) to light up the way for others but the greatest sacrifice is fighting the demons within."

~ I am touched by your words, fighting the demons within - makes me the soldier that is always ready for battle, never giving up to the demons...

I am truly blessed to have such great intellectual friend...

[Sami Khalil]

You are most welcome Mr. Pax...:)

[Jack...]

Wow my friend, this is so real, so deep within the heart and the mind. Fending those barbs and acting off like nothing has occured, I know this well. To stand there and say i don't care while raging tears flood inside...so very sad this feeling and so very real. Great piece here Pax...loved how this touched me.

[Pax]

wow, my friend Mr. J.... I am truly touch by your words on how you can relate to my poetry...
the emotions are often tiring, my friend... but like a strong individual, i must not give up...
I am grateful to you...

[Sugar Plum ♥]

Another heart touching, screaming of strong emotions poem..full of so many feelings, like mixture of your own identity and hidden pain. I believe somehow in your poems, even so intense expressive feelings are still hidden. Your feelings are like a storm, whirling to the soul, and so deep..And they are natural, even hard to bear...I love the metaphor with the candles, human body as an instantaneous source of pain...Candle is so strong symbol, containing magic, in the same time purification of the soul and new beginning. Burning is the process which no one could escape...Very nice piece!

:: nour ::
:: September-013 ::

[Pax]

wow, hugs!.... I didn't know the candles are have strong symbolic meaning... when i light up a candle it always brings me into deep thoughts and often times give in to my deep prayers... my dear sweetest friend... your intellect and heart always warms my heart and mind... I can't thank you enough....hugs tight!

[Shep]

Another poem that you have in pressed me with. Each poem is like a piece of your heart.

[Pax]

Shep my friend, know that I always appreciate your words... i guess its a puzzle piece of my heart...thank you so much...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i'm not laughing because i have been a "prisoner of my own doing"

many times...

and it isn't fun...we try to laugh through the pain...but we cry so many tears, even on the inside that our heart becomes a dried land.

[Pax]

it feel so amazing when you know someone can relate to what you penned, with that my friend mr. Jacob, I am truly honored... and thankful!