Candles of Shame

~ Picture Prompt-Semi fiction, little fragments of my introspection…

 

 

 

 

~ Candles of Shame ~

 

I cry because I needed to be

to release something in me.

Every tear brings moist to my dried lands.

For I, a mere man

seems so damage, yet so normal

or perhaps just fragile, easily breakable

and sometimes emotionally unstable.

 

You laugh because it’s fun,

Looking on a dreaded face

saying such a waste

then disregarded for my bitter taste.

 

I smiled an emptied smile

I laughed a pretend laugh

That’s my response to your jokes

As if it didn’t hurt

For I don’t want to upset you with my unpleasant retort

 

In time I learned to tolerate the vicious screams of my thoughts

Then mold them into candles

Hold them near, embracing it as part of my soul

And burn each shameful experienced into smokes

Now wrap with melted wax

Relax in this shell I created

a prisoner of my own doing

It’s ok, I am fine

I am strong enough to accept

enough will to intercept

the flooding negativity

with my passive cry for unity

and through my spacious heart,

 

the pain is bearable.

Author's Note

photography by : ezorenier
pyros
luminiscencia

When I wrote this, i remember this lines I made last month and did not published it
here is the exerpt:

I am the next person behind you, easily noticeable & can be subjective to many jokes
But you know what; think of what you must, I ignore people who disrespect my being.
Some jokes have some boundaries that identify either it is funny or just plain insulting.
I am easily likeable, yet I am not always your play thing.

I also remember the poem last time I became a joke

It seems like being funny or acting lively, seems to have its consequences... yet I still dare to act one myself... by pretending so, the feeling rubs on my being, often times I lie to myself, to believed that it's still a happy world, despite everything else...

Reviews

[BlackRose]

WOW, such a powerful piece with such imagery coming to me as I read. Fantabulous my friend!

[Coyote Poetry]

"It’s ok, I am fine
I am strong enough to accept
enough will to intercept
the flooding negativity
with my passive cry for unity
and through my spacious heart, "
I was born with a cold heart and didn't allow pain in. It is a safety and a heavy weight to carry. I like the above lines. Negativity can't be stopped. But we cannot fall to the weaknesses of naysayers. Thank you for sharing the powerful poetry.
Coyote

[Pax]

thank you so much my friend. you always have good wisdom in you, and i always appreciate your valued insight. grateful!

[Blue]

"I am strong enough to accept
enough will to intercept
the flooding negativity
with my passive cry for unity
and through my spacious heart,

the pain is bearable."

You wrote this beautifully, Pax! And the title itself is a curious matter, drawing readers to read this poem, a poem with depth. :)

[Pax]

Thank you, Arzel. I am glad you finding it good and beautiful. This piece meant something to me. so I am thankful you've read it and like it.

[Blue]

Oh, is this based on a personal experience? :)

[Pax]

some of it is... you know, when i do a picture prompt, I can't help but look into the past, can't help relating some of my personal experience into the certain piece i am making. kasi nag start kasi ako na when i write poetry, it is a means of expressing my depth thoughts and burdens in life and around me... thank you again my friend and fellow kababayan

[Blue]

Ahh, I see. I've never actually challenged myself to do that 'picture prompt' thing. Thank you din, Pax. I'm thrilled to know there are talented Filipino writers here in WC.

[Pax]

from the past two years i am here in this website, there are many filipinos are here, though only a few stays... try picture prompt kung wala ka na talagang maisulat.. :) and you're most welcome :)

[Blue]

I'l bear that in mind, Pax. Thank you.

[Blue]

*I'll bear in mind...

[Kalen Luciano]

Great job Pax! I'm excited to read more

[Demii]

This is exceptionally great.

[Simran Kewlani]

This is amazing Pax. I love your writings.

[paddy d daly]

a beautiful expression of what can be hidden deep within ourselves, i can understand where you are coming from, as i am sure most good people can.

[rockista]

i am new here and still dont have any friends do u mind be my first???

[Tai Ryens]

The beginning captured my attention because you started out with stating you need to express misery to 'be', to exist, or to acknowledge that this isn't all just a mental suffering that is a result of too much thinking; that this pain and misery EXIST and are not figments of your imagination. Another part that I like is how this plays out vaguely as a narrative, telling the tale of once having to endure unbearable sorrow and growing to just accept it as a part of life. Well done, Pax.

[NeiL ArandA]

You're quiet kind of guy
You're going with the flow
You don't want them to know
You're the butt* of all jokes
You're the class clown
The talk of the town
Yet little do they know
That behind this hard mollusk shell
A soft heart throbbing with pain
And you still have more reserve space
How you wish they would see the waste
Cause by words spoken in haste