wanting to fade

~ just wanting to share this feeling to you my friends...

Wanting to fade…

 

Sometimes I just wanted to fade

Out of sight, but just around

 

To hide and vanished

Or be erased momentarily

To feel my existence in a place

Like I belong

 

Hours, minutes, and seconds passed

The white walls grab me to blend in

To pretend that I am part of something

Other than being out of place

But the dark ribbon that lurks in my eyes

Sheds light of who I am

 

…tired!

 

Perhaps longing to belong,

  Awaits in the far door I fear to go… 

Author's Note

credits to the talented photographer : DavidSchermann

Reviews

[Fernando Dardón]

I guess we all could feel identified with this poem, somehow, no matter what.
There are times that we don't feel part of something, like we were "wanting to fade"
I do feel identified with it, 'cause sometime I felt this way. It was a time I hadn't find a way, haven't feel confortable where I was.
But times goes by, and I slowly found my way. I'm still not there, but I'm on the way. Finding interesting people, new experiences, bad ones, new places; have learned some things, and forgotten other things.
We use to fear going somewhere, 'cause going somewhere sometimes looks "dangerous", but what whe need to is that we actually need to go some direction to find someplace.
Maybe the ribbon that covers our eyes will never cover the light inside ourselves. I suppose that light will be there as long as we want to, as long as we pursue a dream...

[Pax]

Maybe the ribbon that covers our eyes will never cover the light inside ourselves. I suppose that light will be there as long as we want to, as long as we pursue a dream...

~ wow, I could have not said it better myself, thank you. Knowing this piece is like looking upon yourself and with that I am glad you could relate to its core meaning, core feelings. I am amaze on how you see this piece, I am grateful with that.

[Fernando Dardón]

Youre welcome!!! :-)

[Marie]

When I was young I often felt like fading. But then I discovered a place and a voice, and I would not relinquish them...

[Pax]

I will always remember that Marie my friend...
because when i descovery this voice, i felt like its my safe refuge, the safe haven i can release unwanted or broken emotions... I can't thank you enough for your words...

[gabrielle]

i may not be able to fully understand how the the voice in this piece feel but i know that each one of us at one point had experienced the yearning to belong to a certain group or organization. yet, strangely, the more we tried to fit in, the more that we feel that we don't belong and the more that we feel untrue to ourselves. i guess in order to survive, we must really learn to adapt and to be flexible but in doing so let us not forget who we really are. nice one pax!

[Pax]

sigh, I always put that to mind... no matter how i pretend to blend in, sabi nga sa kanta...
"Pagkukunwari itago man ay lalabas,
At minsan kang matuklasan hapdi'y walang kasin dalas."
~ i just recently found that song from digging in for old songs of basil valdez...

your keen as always beautiful eyes friend, and i believed that your right...
I will not forget shared insight you've shared... I can't thank you enough...

[The dark story]

the longing for belonging...it's painful when that longing is never met. few peoples makes our existence meaningful, we feel opportunist to be living with them, but sometimes we strive hard to be with them. i have this feeling sometimes when i'm very pessimistic, i curse my existence as it never seems meaningful at all at some point of life., feels like life is just ...just too wrong with me. but friends and people makes me realize my very existence,i admire it that i have lived that moment with them .

i love the emotions you have put into it. it's touching. loved it. thanks for sharing.

[Pax]

that sentence alone, it stings... but bearable...
It's nice to see you again my friend...
read morethat sentence alone, it stings... but bearable...
It's nice to see you again my friend...
I thank you for feeling my emotions here...
your very right with all you've said... and i also do feel you in your words...
I am grateful you've shared me your experienced..

[The dark story]

i was busy(well i'm still) with my studies. my exams are going to start next week.

[Horizon K.]

Sometimes I just want to melt into the earth and become nothing but a part of its omniscient presence, this is the feeling I get from this, or maybe this is the way I know this feeling... When we are tired, lonely, frustrated with the substancelessness of our dreams, disappointed in reality, or simply wanting a restful place to just be... Take care, dear Pax...

[Pax]

sigh...
all those negative feelings... i feel those...
it's hard to be strong sometimes...
but i don't want to give up on believing that there is still good for me out there somewhere in time..

thank you very much my friend...

[Horizon K.]

there is always good out there, it just needs to be found, however we must find it, sometimes it takes a journey.... take care dear Pax...

[captain]

Well I had this feelings not long ago. It's good to read you again Pax.

[Pax]

It's nice to see you too. I hope your doing well my friend...
This feelings often comes to me, but it never stop me from believing that there is something good for me out there...

thank you...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think poets feel out of place, like they don't belong...we have each other as writers...and we understand each other...but with others, we can sometime feel alien...we want to belong...we just don't--

like emily D. who was such a recluse...she didn't want to be with people who didn't share her views, appreciate her poetry or understand her...

i have had this feeling often.

jacob

[Pax]

wow, I didn't know Emily D. was like that, thanks my friend... we are all indeed humans capable of this feelings... I am grateful always that you shared you views in this piece :)

[Everett DeValle]

I really enjoyed the melancholy tone you conveyed from the stark loneliness that you endure...you feel fatigue because you don't see a familiar face, at times home sickness...I feel your struggle, and I admire your strength...you will see that the sacrifice you make will make you a better person born out of necessity.

As a saying in my place goes...get in where you fit in. :)

[Pax]

my friend wow, that saying - get in where you fit in - sometimes homesickness really gets through your skin, no matter how you manage to evade it with all the entertainment at hand... sometimes it just doesn't feel right... I thank you for your ecorageing message my friend...

[Everett DeValle]

You're welcome bro...I feel your struggle...try to network with other Pinoys and meet up...or cook Pinoy food with friends and watch TFC lol jk...I just wanted to cheer you up...hey, bro, if this connects you, with you, by interacting with others here...it's a beautiful thing. Keep that quill and burn the midnight oil my friend. :)

~Ev

[Caradoc]

Yup. I know exactly how this feels.

Good piece my friend.

[Pax]

I know, right!
Please do come back when your well...
a friend is always here for you...
thank you...

[Wolfwind]

This reminds me of the feeling I would get back in the office work days of long ago, when the clock would tick tock and tick some more and it felt like farther and farther away would get the door. The walls would stretch and the coffee would run dry and the over bright lights would replace the sky.
Then would come that moment when exhaustion would mix like soup and the vision would spin and twirl into the essense of blank goop.

I finally had to leave the office line of work...

This piece of poetry really speaks to me of mankinds need to always integrated their souls with new and interesting things. When we stagnate, even if it's on the scale and scope of a day, we feel off and the world looses a bit of color. At the same time, we are fascinated by fly on the wall, and the spirits that can hear and not be seen. I believe this poem was blending of curiousity, sleepy winds and and a chair that hadn't moved in a while.

That's just what I see in the ink anyway! My view might be outrageously my own! =D

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Sir Pax!
Aaron - Wolfwind

[Pax]

wow, it reminds me so well at work, that is why i choose that image... it fits and hides different meanings. my friend your view is not outrageous, for I am also stunned on how well you understand human nature ~ a chair that hadn't moved in a while.~ that statement alone makes me ponder more in different meaning... oh how profound your words of wisdom are... I also can't thank you enough...

[Wolfwind]

You're more than welcome. I enjoy reading your thoughts. They have a wonderful human depth to them that makes them relatable. We are all gypsy's at heart, the entire race. In the memories of humankind, we started off as migratory tribes that followed game, or moved with the seasons, from one place to another, always on the move. I think that deep set seed is still implanted within the souls of mankind. Thus when the chair doesn't move for a while... our knees begin to bounce and the door looks more appetizing. It's why we all want the window seat, so that we can look out and dream about the days of drifting, when only the wind was at our backs and the scent of a warm meal before our feet. =)

[Pax]

that is why i enjoyed reading even though I am a lazy reader, to dream, to fantasize, to write them down... is an escape and somehow manage to fill the soul of what's lacking... your words always as inspiring my friend, greatly appreciated!

[Sami Khalil]

"Other than being out of place

But the dark ribbon that lurks in my eyes

Sheds light of who I am"
Dark ribbons around eyes that is some powerful imagery for temporary loss of focus or vision for it hinders the amount of light or ( truth ) that reflects into those eyes too see the reality of this life and people's intentions and until you figure all that out then you feel the belonging and share the love and trust for the worthy of yours...A splendid write...:)

[Pax]

I am stunned on how you understand well the core of the piece and hitting rock bottom... I can't thank you enough.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome my friend...:)