Questionable Mentality

~ i am not crazy, just thinking crazy :D

 

To think or just blink - something click, then link

a pink fluid runs in the sink, it stink of raw ink

I did a sharp clink

And I laugh like a lunatic

The stinging click makes my brain tic

Then someone wink, I panic

Horror runs in terror deep in my fatty exterior

my heart roars its pounding beat as I roam in fast feat

I struggle for self-control calling all my self-patrol

Holding my reality intact in which for now, I lack

Insanity pulls my multiple personality

~ Questionable mentality ~

Shake, shake rapidly

 now I dance stupidly

all attention now is in me, then I ran horridly

someone pinned me, I scream endlessly

something pierce my skin

a sharp quick pain

a fluid sips through my veins

rushing calming every stiff muscles, then once more I leap

then my heart stops its bouncing beat

my craziness slips into a silent sleep!

 

Author's Note

It started as a wordplay for something horrifying that ends up into something crazy ~ I think i needed my psychologist now...lol(kidding)

~ enjoy my friends!

Reviews

[asdarkeyesclose]

i love the way you experiment with words and ideas, this wordplay is a perfect example, you always stretch the horizon slightly and explore the world, take us to new concepts and ideas. this poem is no exception and is another example of why i rate you as one of the most exciting writers here at the cafe, the word play here was brilliant. it is good to see a writer developing and i always get the feeling you are getting slightly better every time you write- a lot of writers never progress in this way and it is wonderful to watch :) fantastic.

[Pax]

wow ~ i am speechless my friend ~ how can i ever thank you for this awesome response ~ i will treasure this very much! ~ people in wc inspires me much ~ like you with your ever beautiful verses ~ a big thank you ~

[Corset]

naw, it's fun to go wild sometimes,, you wrote a mind twister too! I like yours better :)

[Pax]

thank you my dear friend ~ yours is much profound than mine ~ this is just a bit crazy if you asked me ;D

[Leslie Philibert]

good write, an orgy of rhymes and pararhymes, alliteration, internal rhymes, so lots of surprise here..

[Pax]

wow ~ thank you very much mr. Leslie ~ i truly appreciate this review with a surprise of learned insight i didn't know, grateful!

[MOON]

Time for the white men in white coats to fetch you. poignant write captured the horror and the bliss of sleep! Good write

[Pax]

thank you Moon ~ it's always a pleasure when you come by. I am grateful, always!

[gabrielle]

oh, did he miss his sessions with the shrink? i'm glad that they did not put him in a straitjacket. ^_*
The repetition of similar sounds (alliteration or assonance, whatever that is.. lol) on most of your word choices created a very pleasing rhythm. Such rhythm "lightened" the effect of the dreadful and alarming subject matter of this piece. By the way, did he dance the harlem shake? lol. This is definitely new from you kabayan.

[Pax]

lol ~ I'm glad you enjoyed it kabayan ~ masayado na kasi siyang wild kaya tinurukan nalng ng pang pa tulog ~ hehe ~nakita mo yung humor despite the alarming subject ~ salamat ng marami :)

[gabrielle]

my pleasure :)

[FJ Davis]

A somewhat alarming, rather concerning romp, tinged with humor and ending well.
Hell of a read, Pax!

[Pax]

Thank you mr. Frank ~ it's always a pleasure when you come by ~ your enjoyment is treasured :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Alliteration and assonance, plus a bit of weirdness. Wow! This is an amazing poem. I love the rhyme and rhythm.
Love this, Pax. :)

[Pax]

wow kabayan ~ thank you very much ~ I'm elated that you find this amazing, you know naman wala akong background sa lit. i'm just playing with words ~ weirdness is just my thing sometimes...lol... truly i appreciate this :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

This is something different. Parang di ikaw ang gumawa. Lol. :) It's really amazing. You're really good. :)

[Pax]

haha ~ parang nga segoro di ako... crazy person yan eh...LOL
thank you Dhaye ~ magaling ka rin naman :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Crazy agad yun? Masyado ka namang guilty dun. Eh, creative lang yung words mo para mas effective yung poem. Sanay ka kasi sa drama kaya crazy na yun sa iyo. hehe. Ganda-ganda kaya.
Have you read my featured story entitled A NEW WORLD? Invite kita, please read ha? Thanks. :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I feel that we have virtually reached a virtual sub-human territory, which is what can actually happen with alienation and mental health, Oh I was compelled and felt rather uneasy, emotional during my reading, which I think is a powerful talent of yours, very well done!

[Pax]

wow ~ that's really high praise my friend ~ thank you very much... I am glad you felt the horror feel of the theme :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

One of the charm factors of your writing style, is that you have written in slick, Pilipino- English, making your writing all the more unique to read!

[Shep]

Now this poem reminds me of life living in terror as I wait for the silient darknees to trap me. I used to think that this was deaths last grip, but in my reality it was my father. Holding me choking the life out of me. And that was before I learned how to fight.

[Pax]

it's an insane world Shep my friend ~ why not make something useful out of it ~ and i know you've done it already ~ because you are a survivor :)

thank you very much for your input, I appreciate that :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I love the wordplay...it was a slippery slope of crazy cryptic conundrums, controlling your bewildered brain!...in other words... I loved it! lol :D

Entertaining twist of thoughts, Paxy!~xo~ :)

[Pax]

lol ~ dancing stupidly now ~ ;D ~ jumping in glee, crazily ~ lol
~ your enjoyment is a treasured, my dear friend ~ hugs ~

[Marie]

Sounds like a lunatic playing with phrases..

[Pax]

LOL ~ indeed, but gladly in the end he was put to sleep :D
thanks so much my friend ~