I know my words are a bit cliché(still trying to improve my vocabulary)… but want to prove that money isn’t everything. I guess my life is not as mess-up as I think it is…
My friends(in the outside world) tell me that why am I staying silent and letting everything comes to place as if I am being lazy. You know because I stand in to the choice I had taken… and living the consequences, I suffer. I just strike when the opportunity comes, because I have all the patience in the world, sometimes I stretch it too much, well but that’s ok … it’s bearable. Even though I choose badly, I still find that there is good in bad choices and learn from it…
a special thanks to ms. Belle for helping me undestant the elements of poetry.
My Review
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no amount of vocab can compare to the thoughts of a simple and great work , vocab only mask's these to much more developed minds but when a poem can relate to anyone and everyone then its called poetry in my mind , if it strikes a feeling reciprocal to the feeling you tried to portray then it was worthwhile everyhting is cliche their is absolutely nothing we haven't done that was for the authors note .
but for the poem itself i found it tasty , a rather interesting one . but i've reviewed many poems on this site thus far and i can truly say from what i've read your feelings about a pessimistic life is mutual . it seems to be the driving catayst towards poetry so i really do take this title as an aphorism to life "poetry is therapy" and we who read other's work are the therapist of life :) thank you for sharing this
no amount of vocab can compare to the thoughts of a simple and great work , vocab only mask's these to much more developed minds but when a poem can relate to anyone and everyone then its called poetry in my mind , if it strikes a feeling reciprocal to the feeling you tried to portray then it was worthwhile everyhting is cliche their is absolutely nothing we haven't done that was for the authors note .
but for the poem itself i found it tasty , a rather interesting one . but i've reviewed many poems on this site thus far and i can truly say from what i've read your feelings about a pessimistic life is mutual . it seems to be the driving catayst towards poetry so i really do take this title as an aphorism to life "poetry is therapy" and we who read other's work are the therapist of life :) thank you for sharing this
Oh, its not cliche at all, Pax. for me everyone has different way to express himself, you do that is so realistic manner, so honestly and spontaneously in front of yourself. I like your style, the way you involve the graph in your poems, so unique...negativity versus positivity is, it`s so clear all world have this ambivalent construction...so the most important is How but not what. How do you live, not who you are, what is inside you no one else can have. Not for the sake of the others "normality" or expectations we live, everyone is another universe with so special deep sense! So be yourslef, as u are, be brave and the + will attach to you :)
Its hard to be positive, i should know for all i see the negativeness sides of me when i look in the mirror. i want to wipe my existent away. So i stop looking.
This I think is a great poem, with a jolting ryhthm, a clear messages, beautiful rhyming and font, a joy and an inspiration to read, dear Pax, very well done!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
many thanks, dear friend: your words are very nice, i am grateful!
Oh wow. Pax, i was mesmerized with this because it was something that could instantly connect to. And not to forget the fact that you wrote it beautifully and no it does not soundcliché. Its perfectly fine andi guessit happens when you let your true feelings out:-):-):-D.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
thanks my friend, I'm glad you can able to relate to it, hope not the depressing one ~ grateful with.. read morethanks my friend, I'm glad you can able to relate to it, hope not the depressing one ~ grateful with your review.
Dearest kabayan,
the voice in this piece speaks loudly of extreme anxiety. i noticed that it mentioned money matters several times and of unfulfilled dreams, which made me feel that these are the sources of the voice's anxiety or uncertainty. although there's this self-assurance that things would be all right, i can still sense some uncertainty on such declaration. The last stanza is a good way to end it. this piece has a universal appeal as all of us, at some point, suffered the subject matter of this piece.
Likewise, i saw some slight grammatical errors on this piece but i feel that only those who are well-equipped with technical knowledge in must point those things because these are my weakness as well. What matter most is that you were able to convey a feeling, which we could all relate to.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
:) thanks kabayan ~ anxiety & uncertainty ~ those thoughts are well balance, for i kept them that wa.. read more:) thanks kabayan ~ anxiety & uncertainty ~ those thoughts are well balance, for i kept them that way for i need to stand on my feet to be able to survive each obstacle along the way~
Dear Visitor
Hello there!
I am Willyam Pax from the Philippines and now residing here in Saudi Arabia for work. I am not a writer but a sensitive aspiring artist who expresses himself into .. more..