I flunk!

~ this was the time when i have nothing to write.... maybe a word play a bit but there is hidden meaning... ;)

 

 

I stare on a blank page, holding a thought

Unconventional imagery

Sub-divisional runway

a road - full of mystery

Signing-in to the puzzling riddle

Choices pops like a bubble

Fading, switching here and then

I rot till Forgotten

Fallen times, running in signs

 

Winter in summer

Cold as stone, I can’t even utter

 

Fragile as glass

String in Brass

Connecting

But suddenly cut

Verses in line

on top, I stop

Ending blank, I flunk !

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see the writer trying to solve the puzzle of the words that are coming in fragments to him...a barrage of ideas, but he can't solve one of them enough to write a piece that holistically has a focus...he is all over the place...

starts one piece, gets halfway through and the inspiration stops..starts another ...same thing

----keeps hitting a wall..

well said.

jacob

[Pax]

smiling ~ your insight is a wonder mr. Jacob.... i keep hitting that wall, my inspirations stop, but my eagerness will not give up... so let's say pen on... grateful with your insight mr. Jacob... thank you very much...

[asdarkeyesclose]

'Unconventional imagery
Sub-divisional runway'

this is quite explosive in its own way, the rhyme is particularly entertaining, very novel and light- plastic fantastic in fact! i enjoyed this a lot, my friend, definitely a new favourite! you are amazing :)

[Pax]

coming from you it's a great pleasure to hear that... thank you so much my friend... you are amazing yourself as well... ~ hugs

[Michael G.]

I certainly don't see any failure here, Pax. This is whimsical and a fun read.
I liked your imagery you painted for your readers.
Not sure what the "hidden" meaning is; but, like your picture I may sit like a fly on the wall and see where this takes other reviewers.
Great write.

[Pax]

oh you notice the picture ~ i wonder what kind of bug is that in this desert.
yes... that's what i want to conveyed, in out imagination words takes us in different direction, its either it leaves us in mystery or in deep thought... the hidden meaning is not my own anymore, it really depends on the reader now..
grateful with your responsive reivew my friend... thank you very much ....

[Robbie~xoxo~]

A+ ;)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

awwww The ending was so abrupt!...
You are a pillar of strength my friend...as long as you have the will to write, it will happen...and I believe it just did on this piece...
The rhythm flowed wonderfully with your play on words... Great job Paxy!

[Pax]

i got to thank our dearest Eli more with that name :D ~ its somehow a trend name of mine... ;) thanks you dear friend... our will to write comes strong :) ~ lets hope for the best dear friend... keep on penning on both :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Well Eli has a knack for titles, doesn't she? lol
It's very catchy!... grabbed my attention right away... you keep penning too... and we will stay strong.~xo~ :)

[Pax]

she is, indeed! hehe ~ now i miss her... i think she's been busy for quite some time now...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

But your started strong and progress really strong and engaging word play. This is the best. To sum it up the weak verses in the last phase is overshadowed by the powerful and strong dominant lines that create this poem a blockbuster feel! A kick a*s piece! Thanks for sharing Sir Pax.

[Pax]

wow ~ what a great complement kabayan... i am overwhelm by the blockbuster feel that you felt :D ~ thank you so much... I'm so grateful with you two ni Dhaye at ikaw...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Welcome Pax :)

[Dhaye]

You did it!
This is a nice piece. I think this is your "something out of nothing". Hehe.
I like this one. :)

[Pax]

:D ~ i like that, i never think of that when i wrote this... I'm so glad you liked it...
Salamat :)

[Dhaye]

What I mean is, out of that time you have nothing to write, you have done something nice like this. I just quote it, for me kasi bagay siya dun sa quote mo. Hehe

[Pax]

smiling... oo nga noh... salamat ulit...