I flunk!

~ this was the time when i have nothing to write.... maybe a word play a bit but there is hidden meaning... ;)

 

 

I stare on a blank page, holding a thought

Unconventional imagery

Sub-divisional runway

a road - full of mystery

Signing-in to the puzzling riddle

Choices pops like a bubble

Fading, switching here and then

I rot till Forgotten

Fallen times, running in signs

 

Winter in summer

Cold as stone, I can’t even utter

 

Fragile as glass

String in Brass

Connecting

But suddenly cut

Verses in line

on top, I stop

Ending blank, I flunk !

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see the writer trying to solve the puzzle of the words that are coming in fragments to him...a barrage of ideas, but he can't solve one of them enough to write a piece that holistically has a focus...he is all over the place...

starts one piece, gets halfway through and the inspiration stops..starts another ...same thing

----keeps hitting a wall..

well said.

jacob

[Pax]

smiling ~ your insight is a wonder mr. Jacob.... i keep hitting that wall, my inspirations stop, but my eagerness will not give up... so let's say pen on... grateful with your insight mr. Jacob... thank you very much...

[Cool Handless Luke]

there is a sustaining flow to this piece despite it's stop and start chasing stray thoughts appearance. it looks disjointed in format but you manage to make it flow very well. in essence you solved the riddle yourself because you took a poem about not being able to find the words, and then proceed to put words to it. " I flunk" gets a good grade in the end! I like your use of imagery here.

[Pax]

thank you my friend~ i am grateful your reading this!

[Sugar Plum ♥]

Flunk, and coldness and glass - all these words radiate melancholy, uncertainty and sinking on emotions...The condition of emptiness can be felt specially after strong and dramatic changes in feelings, or shocks. As God gave is the pure love, surely the devil also gave us some other feelings, we always confuse them with love. Ofc. they are not.
sooner or later we find that, no matter what karma connection is behind. So greatly expressed poem of emptiness, staring to your real self is first step of healing!

-nour-
april-013

[Pax]

staring to your real self is first step of healing! ~ oh i have been staring at it for a long time ~ the healing is still far away but hopefully I'm on the way ~ thank you my friend so much with this great insight... you see it so well...

[quinfinn]

i wouldn't exactly consider this a failure, considering you emoted beautifully the extent of your frustration in verse! sometimes it is best to get it out as it comes. when we revisit our ideas we are often surprised to find deeper meaning and better words with which to express it.

[Pax]

you say it correctly my friend ~ i could not have said it better ~ there will always be a deeper meaning in our verses ~ thank you so much my friend ~ i appreciate this review!

[Baby Ricochet]

Great work Mr Pax. You know you've grown quite a bit on the WC since I've been on here. Outstanding work Sir

[Pax]

thank you my friend ~ you too i see a lot of growth ~ we have been growing in our own way ~ so let's keep learning new things my friend... i am grateful with your support!

[RachelReaper]

What I envision in this is when you have an idea, or a concept, but your having the hardest time trying to put that idea or concept into words. That happens to me all the time. However, instead of words, I could also see this as someone struggling with their own life, which makes it very relateable.

[Pax]

you certainly see that my friend ~ thanks, i so appreciate this :)

[RachelReaper]

:)

[Donald Meikle]

Been there too often maybe this will soften.
If it doesn't work in rhyme take words with color or weather or dew drops
maybe a wilted rose
Then spice it in with those
Till it tingle tastes

[Pax]

thanks Donald...and oh i really like the advice.... I'll do that sometime soon...

[Pax]

Raw emotion my friend, love that here. " Fading, switching here and then
I rot till Forgotten" So that makes us think all is so transience, and relative, in the end...
Splendid word plays here... a hike through your mind again, thank you bro.

- Elisa

[Pax]

thanks big sis... i hope you found the map, for the map is within us all... but i knew you will find your way for you knew me so well... i appreciate this so much...

[Moving Mass]

Very interesting piece Pax, I found it ironic how you actually used "unconventional imagery" later on in the poem. I've felt something like the "rot", as when you write a poem and continually try to improve it for a prolonged time period. After some time, the poem stops making sense and kind of 'decays.' I know you aren't referring to this, but just an interpretation. Overall, well done friend!

[Pax]

oh, yes i think that's the rot speaking its own version. Over all as you progress in reading the verses it talks about much of failure. thank you my friend.

[Moving Mass]

Of course!

[Reuben]

Nice one

[Pax]

Thank you Reuben. I'm glad you enjoyed it...

[Reuben]

Haha sorry i know it's not really a review, just thought I'd let you know

[Pax]

~ smiling ~ no, i don't mind at all... letting me know your thoughts is more than enough... like everyone thoughts i received.... so thanks again...

[Reuben]

Yup

[Deuces]

This is the life and the gift and curse of the writer. It's a necessary evil, my friend... one you've perfectly conveyed through your unique and awesome style. Bravo as always, bro!

[Pax]

yes it's both and hard to overcome but bearable not to give up. Thank you very much my friend...