shadows of our past

~ a fictional write about how a person can't move on...

 

It’s too much right now that I hate standing alone

The crowd is making me dizzy

I don’t mind being the puppet

As long as it’s cordless

Doing it in the flow of life, like the river down the stream

As natural as possible as if pretending is not my thing!

I’m just as empty as anybody else who are tired of being alone…

Can anybody connect to my invisible strings

like before when I was still happy inside out

nothing last forever they say

but why do I feel when I was connected to someone

that I felt content when she’s around

and I don’t need much of anything fancy

or anything that money can buy

just being with her is enough….

Is it enough that you made my days lonely and gloomy

Well, I guess I needed a life and move on?

You have your own life

and I don’t…

I know it’s not worth to mourn you over and over

Like a dead someone I once loved

It’s not easy to forget you

It had never been

I know that you know

it was not meant to be

I just have to stop this madness, over to the top pondering

The fact remains, nothing has touch me the way you do

Now facing the images of you

Making me realized to stop comparing you to the others I’ve meet

For it prisons my well-being to move on

Now in-fact I’m a prisoner of my own choice

I live in the shadows of our past

Will I ever be free

In time we’ll see…

Author's Note

photo credits:
hand: me
words: me
editing: me
me,me,me...lol...just having fun for i haven't written in the past few days now...
this is an old write written last feb2013... i just didn't have courage to post it... for im not sure its good enough....

Reviews

[Sugar Plum ♥]

Really dear friend, believe, you will be free, you are never alone! you will understand why, someday...Wonderful poem, expressing all honest sadness of lose of someone. All i can say is that nothing and no one ever belong to us. if we remember that well, we can`t suffer so much...The life an amazing puzzle, why and when is question we can`t always answer now. The time remains a secret, but we do create our suffer alone! seems we enjoy it. Melancholy and emptiness comes into the searching spirit, not to anyone. Very nice photo :) I love these lines :
Now in-fact I’m a prisoner of my own choice

I live in the shadows of our past

-nour-
april-013

[Pax]

life an amazing puzzle ~ yes indeed, and my pieces are just lost as of the moment, someday I'll be able to fixed it... thank you so much my friend.... you understand life so well... I am ever grateful to you...

[Emily Feret]

I don’t mind being the puppet

As long as it’s cordless

How captivating and inspiring. Thank you for sharing!

[Pax]

thank you ms. Emily... that particular line holds a special thought everyone can relate... grateful with you reading my verses...

[Pax]

Captivating and moving my dearest, I can see you walking there, dizzyness, head looking to your feet, thinking, wandering, and the photograph shows, how badly you need help, what a great work Paxie, you have eyes for that friend.

"Now in-fact I’m a prisoner of my own choice

I live in the shadows of our past

Will I ever be free

In time we’ll see… "

Those lines, speak to me my friend, it both says you have enough of it, and want to see things more positive... for letting go someone, you miss, that hardly, rises a wise and free minded person, and guess what? with no rusty wings ;) Love, and Hug x

- Elisa

[Pax]

hugs back... truly dearest friend... I am overwhelm on what you've seen... thank you very much... that photo holds something of my heart... I am truly grateful with your positive words.... tight hugs...

I felt it, you are such a true heartfelt artist Pax, dear, never stop writing, painting and stop making photo's, you know what I love about this one, is that you let go the need of being an artist, and it showed spontaneously you are one. Tight hugs back my sweet friend, and sorry for my lack of time, I slowly come back for each and everyone here, including more stories to read... xxx

[Pax]

no problem at all... I know your busy.... but you know I'm glad to see your still writing.... that's just show your creativeness in your business... :) .... it's means your breathing out all the negative hard task.... relaxing in your thoughts... i do that when Im doing my art... stay healthy dearest...

Haha, you are so true, I can't stop that ever, you know me... LOL :) so do you when you're in rehab-rest to breathe right? or you draw, or do other things... I think we all need that time now and then. To focus a year on here would drive me crazy. You too dearest, always think that there are worser things ;) sounds so cliché but it's a real good thing... you're the best, and I am slowly reading on more :D

[Belle]

Now that is photography, Kabayan.

[Pax]

thanks Maam Belle :D ~ you spoke less ... i wonder.. maybe its the vacation time... nice ba? i thought its much edited... but i like it anyways....

[Belle]

Did I? You mean, you know me as a woman of more talk, and now it is unusual that I've spoken less, OMG, not good... I am reading the book Beowulf and it is in a poem form.

[Belle]

I like the image, Kabayan. It is powerful. If you will ask me, I like photos that are not commercialize, meaning I do not appreciate edited photos. Editing for me is synonymous to truth alteration.

[Pax]

haha... yes its not good..lol(just joking)... you are a woman with known knowledge of literature... but all you being here and letting me know your thoughts is enough for a friend... thanks... beowulf and in a poem form... classic literature makes my head spin in riddles(hirap intendihin..hehe).... does the book rhyme or just in free verse?

[Pax]

hmm... for me there are two types of editing... manipulation & retouching...
manipulation is alteration... retouching is refurnishing...
so what i did is retouching only for the finalization of the effects i want... that's what i do when i used just an ordinary camera... not the professional one...

[Belle]

You have said it well, Kabayan, in a stroke of your words you have made me accept the term refurnishing. I can dwell on that only for a purpose of creating particular mood for the viewer, but as much as possible for me, I let my eyes and my camera do the work and not the hands and the computer. ;)

As for the Beowulf, I think you have googled it. It is from an ancient writings, another piece of literature in a form of free verse so not so much difficult to follow and be understood. :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

it's good enough to be said awesome.....you put your words of thoughts in precise manner.....the thought in the image was really heart touching....keep writing more stuff like this....

[Pax]

Thanks my friend... I highly appreciate that... i still haven't wrote anything creative as of lately... so i am grateful you are reading my work...

[Devanshu Rajput]

your welcome.....i like reading words of another esp. of yours