a shout ramains a whisper

My mind is in crooked state… my emotion is in distress… shouting my silent whisper into nothing…

My mind shouts its right

But then my voice remains a silent whisper

 

My heart screams its plea

But then my mind just rationalize the heart’s plea

                Turning out to be just nothing

                                For knowing what is right from wrong

           Depends on the society’s concept

                                          I just hope that sometimes society would just not bother me

                      -- and leave me alone -

                But that’s not the case, we always care

                                We bother one another

Some people steps on someone’s business and dictate what’s the right thing to do

                           How dare they, they are not us

             We are not them

                         Can we just stick our nose to our own business

      Then just bother when needed…

                                      I guess it really depends on the situation…

 

It’s a constant battle within me and the outside world

Me and my other selves are always on trial on right things to do…

The outside world can’t keep their curiosity shut,

they question everything

they always think they know me very well…

well I can’t blame them, it’s part of human nature

to point fingers, observe and analyze

then the thing is, they don’t rationalize what they see…

 

sometimes I’m so, so tired with myself… and with others of the society

I can never be in a place that I can be just me…

The pure me, who isn’t afraid of anything

Maybe just here in my writes…

I can be fearless whatever I want to be…

Author's Note

This is a vent… sorry I was out for a few days… I want to breath-in to the outside world yet I find the outside world is quite tainted with gray clouds making me breathless… making me sick in the pit of my stomach… this write is meant for the world outside, not in wc... its a reflection on how i live today....

i still find this piece at the back of my head... carry it like it doesn't even heavy....

Reviews

[Belle]

The battle between the tripartite of the mind.
A friend is helping me to understand this :

"Let not any denouncement
Permeate in a guise of judgement.
Let your bosom speak,
Speak! break- the handiclamp
Who had bound you by the wrist."

But like have been said, the hardest part is the passivity stage.
I dare you think about this rather focus on the complexities...

About the title, it speaks your state. Magulo. In my state I call it SILENT SCREAM.

[Pax]

that's highly profound... kailangan ko yata ng dictionary... :D
the first two lines are very deep... that is why i try my best to be positive to them and try seeing the other way around... someday I'll know...
Salamat kabayan...

[NeiL ArandA]

Nice piece Pax, its best to express it than bottle it down .

[SHEEMA HUQ]

"It’s a constant battle within me and the outside world".....oh my dear, the arduous combat with the external enemy......I sense your underlying fury, your frustrations, and what better way of tackling them than in poetry, in writing, I can guarantee that the magic of cathartic writing does pay off, even if it takes months.....and enables you to focus on other pressing issues or to shift your frustrations, good work, keep at it, well done for taking the bull by it's horns!

[LoveDens]

Hi.Hope we can exchange more messages.

[Pax]

thanks kabayan... you can message me anytime :)

[Bare Trees]

I can see you were in an agitated state when you wrote this. I believe that is one of the benefits of this site, to release your feelings. I can relate to your thoughts. I too have felt as though I've been on trial many years. Trying to keep positive seems like a trait that is hard to obtain but its something that takes time and that can feel like forever. I know. I wish you luck.

[Pax]

Thank you much mr. Blip.... i wish you luck too for we need that from time to time...

[Marie]

Pax, you don't seem to have any defenses. It takes a while to build them. But you need to filter comments, keeping the positive, rejecting the negative.

[Pax]

one thing is for sure Marie... my other selves in my head mentally take note of every negative to throw back to the vulnerable me... it's hard to keep up but i do try my best to beat the odss i am in... hopefully.... I am always thankful with you keen understanding my friend... will always be grateful!

[Sugar Plum ♥]

So nice, then all you need is to write and be free with yourself! For everyone is hard - specially the very emotional person, artists and writers -to live in society of others. for me too, we always pay the price for that! But in the same time, maybe that is the way to discover our hidden nature, to reveal secrets of our heart and God. and to understand better our soul! Then only we`ll be on the right way to know others. Many philosophers wrote about "hell of others" and society on the whole, but these connections are inevitable and stay always! we are humans and not hermits. I like this poem - reflection!
I just hope that sometimes society would just not bother me

-- and leave me alone -

-nour-
July-013

[Pax]

your amazing my friend... thank you much!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the thoughts and the internal struggle. We are our worst enemy. We create ghost and separation.
"I can be fearless whatever I want to be…"
I do believe we decide our journey. Not fate or people. Above statement was my favorite. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Pax]

you are excellent yourself my friend...
~ i am grateful with your insight...
thank you very much...

[The dark story]

"The pure me, who isn’t afraid of anything

Maybe just here in my writes…

I can be fearless whatever I want to be…"....these were the lines which i liked the most in all...one should live the life fearlessly and with head helds high...great write!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

pax....

we do have to live for ourselves and what we feel is right for us to do ....we can't live according to what others think...we will go crazy...and those that judge us for what we do...need to look in their own back yards.