Darkened Soul

a little dark..

In my darkest days, I held you beneath my warmth

You indulged me with your feverish hunger

You embraced me with your piercing emotions

You were immune to my changeable disease

I came to a realization that you were my muse

              The best rainbow I received……….

You told me that I was part of your soul

            To me you’re the fuel to my rusty engine,

                                     The energy to my thirsty being,

                         And the light of my darkened soul.

Author's Note

i don't know what to say...
would you share your thoughts about it?

Reviews

[Mia]

This is wonderful! I love the ending!
"The energy to my thirsty being,
And the light of my darken soul."
It is very evident that there is passion in this relationship and it's the kind of passion that just engulfs you. The kind of passion that’s dangerous but you just can't help yourself. Really great write!

[Pax]

You got it! that was the purpose and the dark side of it. Somewhat a dangerous love affair. Thank you my friend.

[Mia]

It's such a pleasure!

[Ama May Cooper]

Pure talent in word form once again i am knocked off my feet by the intensity. Such a short piece but the space used is done so very artfully..
And the light of my darkened soul, what a deep and satifying ending, the endless darkness tainted by the light of one so close and the intrinsic undersstanding between to people. Wonderfully done.

[Pax]

I'm speechless by your praise thank you so much.

[MoriartyMesa]

My thoughts are this could be Marc Anthony in words scribe to his African Queen.

[Pax]

hmm.great to know that, thanks for sharing your thoughts my friend.

[Serenity Faith]

This is dark, but it has a tinge of light to it in a way. The best rainbow I received.....Brilliant Willyam! This is definitely My favorite by you thus far ^_^ It touches my heart in such a strange way.

[Pax]

Yeah, strange in a way because its quite a dangerous love affair. I also like the rainbow metaphor it embed a sense of beauty. Thank you so much my friend.

[Marie]

You embue this poem with love and lovliness...and you have found a true inspiration...

[Pax]

Thank you so much Marie, Embue is a new word for me and sounds so great.

[Marie]

I could have said you "have given" this poem love and lovliness, and it would have meant the same.read moreI could have said you "have given" this poem love and lovliness, and it would have meant the same.
"

[Junert]

This is good.

[Pax]

Thank you my friend.

[Pax]

Lovely words for One special soul and person!! I like the way you can't be witouth this person it means both have done a good job in this relationship.
Beautiful

E.L.

[Pax]

yeah, they do yet a little dangerous but they did it together because they need each others. thanks my dear friend.

Hmmm interesting ny friend

[Baby Ricochet]

It's really beautifully forelonged. Is forelonged a word? It is now. Great job man

[Pax]

Thanks my friend.

[Geraldine]

Oooh, I have read it like three times. :)) And I liked it. For me, on the second and third line, I think it should be 'indulged' and 'embraced' and on the last line I think I better prefer it as 'And the light to my darkened soul'. ^^ But whichever way you want it, it still good. Thumbs up for you my friend. :D

[Pax]

wow, di ba siya boring after reading it 3 times :D..
i was thinking in the present kasi..so kailangan bang nasa past sila?
thanks for the heads up.

[Geraldine]

Parang mas maganda lang kasi ang flow kung parang uniform ang tenses. Naku yan kasi ang pinakakalaban ko when it comes to writing eh. :D Kung you want it to be in present, dapat from the start present ang ginamit. :))

[Pax]

ganun ba, naka past kasi in the start palang diba..kaya pala..i know something now. mahirap ba silang kalaban yung mga tenses? hehehe..lol

[Geraldine]

haha yeah. :)) oo no. I HATE tenses. :))