State of being there

A prisoner of your own doing
Selfishness is a way of avoiding
Stay fair by just merely existing
Pain and craving
Lock and stored in a well-guarded place
Hunger made it hollow in this well hidden base
Loving from a distance
Shielded by masquerade
Full of charade.

Author's Note

an old poem i dug up..
i think i forgot what i felt when i wrote this..
or i just want to forget..
i did rhyming here, i did not know i was capable of it, before..
i just like free-verse...for now.
tell me what your thoughts about this..

Reviews

[reflectingus]

Your poem raises a thrilling puzzlement, it's like reading through lines and digging deep, beyond the fake smiles, where we hide our true selves, where we're much too pleased burying it all, pretending that nothing happened. Speaks the truth about life, hinted with beautiful poetry.

[Renée]

Mysterious yet..when you slowly read..you can understand...
Like "Selfishness is a way of avoiding" ..not selfish at all ..just self preservation in situations at times...

[Pax]

self preservation, i like that..thanks

[Cole Hayley]

I liek this alot, "shielded by masquerade, full of charade" beautiful closer.

[Persephone]

Short, but moving - We certainly can become prisoners of our own doing - wonderful work :)

[Marie]

I can't tell, really, what you were thinking either. I like the form and font of this poem.

[Pax]

its something really deep emotions we sometime keep or i kept. i just want to forget it, its really heavy to carry sometimes..

[Pax]

thanks for the review

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

Oh, how true the words ring of far too many in this world. I liked this so very much! I never could understan how easily others do this?

[Pax]

its not that easy, its what people experience in their life, in this poem its my life. I've live with it, so its just a release of what we carry. thank you so much for your review.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

You know what...you right. My daughter is like this and I think "oh how easy she fades out others", yet it isn't easy is it...it’s a defense to repetitive blows of pain. I stand corrected and grateful you responded so quickly to allow a change of view...thank you...for real!

[Pax]

your a loving mother to understand your daughter very well. and your welcome.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I am blessed with children that use their free voice. I am humbled that I learn more from them than they learn from me, and saddened I had no role model to look back on when I felt lost. I have broken their hearts from years of drugs that ran my life, I believe in them more than they believe in me and am proud of two things...giving life to cradle their souls and teaching them every soul is exactly the same only cradled in a different body. A loving mother…yes but not as most think, my kids have been to hell and back with me, I am humbled and honored their soul’s picked me.

[Pax]

your indeed bless with a second chance, like everybody does. Your honest in your words..its a vise versa world, you complete each others and understanding one another..keep it up

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you;)

[...]

This was a well written piece of emotion! Poetic artistry :)

[Pax]

thank you so much, its really honored by your review.

[Baby Ricochet]

I like it. It's got like a buddhist thing going on. 'A prisoner of your own doing." Yep. sounds kinda like the Dalai Lama. I love the Dalai Lama. Great write.

[Pax]

wow, its a great comparison thought im not a Buddhist but im really glad of your view..its like im an enlighten one..yet still far from that. ..thanks.

[afra]

another short but beautiful write ...well done

[Pax]

thank you afra..

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

This has a different feel from some of your other works. There is something in it that is mysterious...I like the rhyme here. This one is stirring something deep inside me.
"Pain and craving
Lock and stored in a well-guarded place
Hunger made it hollow" fantastic Willyam!

[Pax]

indeed its something what i carry..thank you.