Beeing

A poem by a student in my Advanced English class

Underneath a plasmid lantern
And underneath a deep blue infinity,
I lay underneath a pear green shade
With nothing but these nectar wells
And trimmed pastures around them.
It is fantastic.

I lift myself from one saccharine bucket
And follow the quilted heat's billow to the next.
I sit myself down to an scrumptious indigo grail,
Only to suddenly lose the lantern's glow above me.

Before I know it, Shock has came and went
With his friends Agony, Massive Confusion (MC for short),
and a duo of colossal troglodytes,
And cross my horizon in three effortless stomps.
They fling boulders and boom with thunder on top of the sweet vessels.

I rise through the wet odor of one and circle its earthen mane.
The other looks across me once. It finds me again.
The rattle and unsteady boots dance under the other.
The bare feet of the one stumble as it turns.

They release the unified and defining roar from its cage
And pressure the pasture to return them to their albino rock cavern.
I feel the heat turn cold and hear it call to me as my house colors race together.
I thrust my lance, and swept away with a flash and wailing crack.
The giants pass through their impenetrable gate as it crashes down on me and
I am in bed

In my half-darkened room
With kicked-off blankets, air conditioner's embrace,
The relaxed hum from a fan, and plasmid arms reaching through the curtains.

They hand me a bee outside my window.



 

Reviews

[caesarkreshen]

Too many modifiers, IMO.

An scrumptious? Sounds like a name.

Shock has came?

I remember when advanced English used to mean something.


Seems like a lot of effort was put into this one, but the undertones/meaning are kind of bland.