A Confession of a Wayward Soul

A monologe

Hello!? Hello! If you can hear me let me know that You are there. I need to feel You near. I am nothing without you. Why do I keep coming back here? Why is it that I turn so easily from Your love? WHY?! When You are all I want, all that I need why do I keep running away. Why do I search for water in wells that I know are empty. Filled with nothing but mud. Why do I think that I can satisfy my thirst with slime? When I know that You give me living water? What makes me so foolish? This is insanity! I do the same thing over and over expecting different results. As if I drop this rock enough it will eventually just float up into the air.  why do I return to this pit of desolation and despair? Why turn from my one true love? Why?

Even when I do follow You, why am I afraid to tell others about you? Why do I think that what they will think about me is more important than their lives? Why am I so stupid sometimes. Why do I rely on me when I know that I will fail? God this silence is deafening! God I need to hear You again. I need to feel You. To feel You close again. To hear You say well done my son, well done. I need your strength to stand. To speak your name. God I want to be bold. I want to stand out for you. So many just spit on your name and our proud. Their arrogance is overwhelming. Their ignorance suffocating. Yet in so many ways, in the light of eternity is so saddening, so pitiful. That someone would be proud to deny their rightful Father. To join the prince of this world, who cares not for them, to join in his punishment and demise. Give me the strength to stand. Give me the heart to be bold. To speak Your name. For I am not ashamed of Your gospel. Your words are true. Your power unending and Your love is unsurpassed. I will praise and follow your name alone. 

Author's Note

Just venting, take it or leave it.