Deep Sleep (Third Draft)

Deep Sleep is a short film about a self-loathing teen, Derek Harper, who's sick of his severe idiopathic hypersomnia (sleep addiction). He lives in a generic apartment, and works at a late-night cafe

Here's the link to the PDF:

Author's Note

I'd love to hear an over all critique (harsh or gentle) on the overall context of my script. How is the dialogue? Is the story understandable? Is it thrilling enough? Does it keep you reading, or does it get boring?