Changing

i seriously dreamt this last night and woke up and had to write it

Finally the door opens and out emerges, not haley*, instead a plump woman well in her thirties, she sees us up against the wall and comes over to us, "Is your friend the skinny blonde in there?" motioning to the bathroom door. We both nod *furtively, she shakes her head sadly and purses her lips. "Well since no one is in there you two need to get her and take her to a hospital! i believe it was her that i heard throwing up. i tried to help her but she claimed it was a stomach bug. But then," the lady stops, *her voice becomes cracking she takes a deep breath and continues, "I heard someone fall, either hitting their head on the toilet or floor." she finished tears flowing from her eyes. Zack and I just stood there jaws dropped until Zack shouts at me to call an ambulance. he thanks the woman and runs inside the bathroom. After i called the police i call haley's mom, it's midnight, we just got out of a movie. I tell mrs. roberts not to panic but that she needs to get down here, haley fell down and hit her head on something in the bathroom. Zack is already back with a small, unnervingly underweight girl cradled in his arms. his face is streaked with tears and looks to be trying to wake the girl i know as haley, my true love, up. i can smell the vulgar odor of vomit off of her shirt and hands(mouth?). Zack lays her down on the thin carpet, "Wake up Haley! WAKE UP DAMNIT!" he shouts at her. Nothing, she's lifeless. A trail of blood is slowly making it's way down her flawless cheek, i can't bear to look at her right now. And all i can think about is that i never got to tell her that i love her.

Author's Note

tell me what you think.

Reviews

[allonsy_doctor]

It's strong and vulgar. Work on sperating paragraphs, though. I really, really liked it. It's got a sadening potential... It's good.