Magical Giggle

A Chapter from my book Crossings

Howard is Dorothy's father. She was 14 when he left her mother Chris.  They live in Reno. This episode describes him working in the Reno Casino. At the end, Howard parks outside of Dorothy's school so he can talk to her.

 

Howard decided to get a better job in 1936, so he gave up teaching even though he loved it, and became a blackjack dealer at the Reno Casino.  Although, he missed his students, especially the few surprising young minds amidst the flood of mediocrity. He had developed the strength to stand on his feet for eight hours a day, and the characters he met in the casino were a distant cry from the students.  He had become interested in the game after reading a translation of Rinconete y Cortadillo by Cervantes (a book he unexpectedly found in the Reno High School library) which talked about a few men who cheated in the game, played in Seville, Spain.

It took him a few weeks to become familiar with the systems at play in the R.C. They employed four decks at a time, which considerably lessened the odds for the players to win.  After two months, he was one of the top employees.  His table was generally occupied even in the daytime. 

The first thing Howard noticed about Shelly was her giggle, a sparkling waterfall of sound.  It happened one day while he was in the midst of shuffling the decks of cards. He looked up and noticed that there was a hot fudge sundae sitting back beyond the green felt playing surface. Then he saw the lips and the smile. She was a striking woman of easy virtue.  He could recognize her occupation because she looked too elegant to be sitting around a card table.

“You going to deal?” she asked unexpectedly. “Or are you just going to stare?”

“Oh, God, I’m sorry,” he said. “Yes!  I mean, yes, I’m going to deal.”

Then she giggled. It was childlike, subtle, and he loved her, immediately.

“Guess the usual player doesn’t eat a hot fudge sundae, huh?”

Where Chris had been four years his junior, Shelly was at least four years older, a fact he gradually learned. Her personality was certainly more youthful. Normally she wore her soft brunette hair in attractive curls and waves that resembled a tranquil brook, a blue or tan backless dress with heels, long dangly earrings that made you look twice. Her eyes were circled by glasses with blue frames. When she didn’t wear them, they were stored in a hard leather case that snapped shut with a clicking sound.  Shelly disproved the old saying: “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.” She was always noticed by any male who walked in the joint. They always tried to ply her with alcohol, but the waitresses knew they were under strict orders to water down her drinks. Whenever she sat at Howard’s table, he always knew the moment she was going to leave because she doffed her cheaters.  She was an intelligent, well-read person like Howard. He noticed it after the first time they conversed over a martini.

“You think I’m your typical empty-headed woman? You wanta talk current events? I can do that. You wanta talk about American history? That, too.  I do have a head on my shoulders.”

“What do you know about American writers?”

“What period?”

“Well, 19^th Century.”

“How about Stephen Crane? Ever read his poem, Intrigue?” Howard shook his head. “You should,” she said.

“But do you know Emily Dickinson?”

“The Belle of Amherst ” Then she began to recite quietly with a lustful tone:

 

“Wild nights! Wild nights!
Were I with thee,
Wild nights should be
Our luxury!

Futile the winds
To a heart in port,
Done with the compass,
Done with the chart.

Rowing in Eden!
Ah! the sea!
Might you but moor
To-night in me!”

 

“Well, I guess you do. You changed the ending though. I bet Emily would have done that too, if she had the nerve. That’s one of my favorites, Shell’. So, how long have you been doing what you do?”

“You mean getting paid for sex? (giggle) About five or six years…I moved up from Vegas.  That was where I got to know the ropes.  It was a bit too raw for me. (giggle) In Reno, I meet guys who are honestly nice…like you, not bullshitters who are showing off bucks.” Shelly smiled and raised her eyebrows. Then she placed one hand on Howard’s thigh.

“What do you enjoy?  A lot,” he asked, wondering what tales she might begin to weave.

“Once in awhile, I like getting tied up with neckties so it’s hard to move. I like to watch myself in a mirror while I’m getting fucked. (giggle)” Shelly paused as the waitress passed by. “Could I get a hot fudge sundae, please?” she asked. The girl waiting tables signaled that she would be back. Then Shelly continued. “That way I can hold myself apart from it all. The visual part of sex turns me on.  I like to see all the parts in motion, darlin’.  Intercourse is similar to two people becoming a machine. They fit together…like a piston. (giggle)” She made a motion with both of her hands. Then she plunged in the long-handled spoon and pulled up a sticky gooey bite of fudge. Howard waved at the bartender for another martini. He knew now he had met a woman even more fascinating and alluring than Chris

“See, that’s what I missed with my wife, Chris.  She always wanted the lights out because she didn’t think she was beautiful enough. She thought she was a bit too thick in the waist. Didn’t think her eyelashes were sexy enough. I told her that if people look in the mirror, they always see their imperfections. Don’t think we’d be human if we didn’t. Do you always look your best in a mirror?”

Shelly stopped before she answered. “I think I know where my imperfections are. I definitely know if I’m lookin’ good and if I’m downright ugly.”

“I sense you’re actually a bit brighter than Chris. I’ve been an English teacher for years, and I don’t think she ever understood poetry or literature very much. Ever been married?”

“No, I do have a daughter.”

“Girls are great.  What’s her name? How old?”

“Dee-ah-na.  It’s spelled like Diana though. Four, next month. She’s as cute as a bug’s ear, however cute they are. Do bugs even have ears?” Shelly was getting silly.

“Dorothy’s thirteen, but I haven’t seen her in person for a long time.”

“Why not?”

“I moved out from her mother, after I found out the b***h cheated on me�"for money yet!  Now, she wasn’t a hooker…she said. I guess she just did it for laughs.”

“I can see why a woman would sell herself.”

“I see Dorothy waiting outside school in the afternoon.”

“Honey, I bet she misses you. She’s hungry for you. You better see her soon. I see my little one every day. She lives with my mother.”

“I will, soon.

“Let’s get a room.  You’ve won me over, and I want you to screw me while you recite poetry. (giggle)” Shelly removed her spectacles and took Howard a few doors down the street to a nearby hotel where she received a discount on a room. He hadn’t been touched by a woman for a long time, so he was too quick on the draw the first time.  After he had relaxed and re-charged his batteries, he made love to her as he regaled her with a rhythmic version of Byron’s most famous verses:

She walks…in beau-ty…like the night

   Of cloudless…climes and…starry skies;

And all that's…best of…dark and bright

   Meet …in her… as-pect…and her eyes:

 “Ohhhhh…yes! Howard, that was gorgeous.” Shelly paused as she caught her breath and kissed him hard on the mouth. “Yep, that describes me to the T,” she added before she hugged him. “That one was on the house.” Shelly began to cry.  “I’m sorry, I can’t help myself. Sometimes making love is too intimate. It doesn’t feel so impersonal with you. I try to keep a distance from my clients, but either I can’t or don’t want to, from you.” Howard liked her because although she was a knowledgeable woman, Shelly was like a little girl stuck in time.

When she played blackjack, she didn’t bet a lot, but she could always afford a stack of one-dollar chips.  Shelly kept an eye on the guys who would come and hang around. She had worked out a signal with Howard in case she was trying to get rid of a guy she didn’t like, or with whom she had a bad night. He would send over some of the big muscular guys to throw him out.

Howard felt protective of Shelly.  Every week or so she would give him a free night with her, and even cooked him dinner.

“You’re very special, Shell’,” he told her.

“Somehow, I know you mean that, Howard.”

He was falling in love with her.  She was becoming a welcome and beloved replacement for his wife.

Then came that Wednesday afternoon, about 2:30.

“Come on don’t you think I’m a good lay?” Shelly asked him as she was sitting at his table.

“You seem…quite proficient.”

“Jesus, proficient?” She rolled her eyes.  “The big factor is: can I float your boat?  You know I can.”

“You want another hit?” he asked.

“No, I stand,” she answered.

“Twenty, and the dealer has eighteen.  Player wins.”  He set a couple of chips in front of Shelly, who dropped them inside her blouse.  “Don’t you lose those now?” he told her.

“I won’t.  Maybe you can get them for me later?  They’re warm and protected. (giggle)”

Howard smiled at her and cleared the table of the dead cards.

“See you later, How’.”

“Bye, babe.” Shelly sauntered off with her arm around a guy in a suit who had also been sitting at the table.  No doubt she would be earning more money than she had won just now. As she and her john walked out the door, Howard got a charge of the way her date grabbed her a*s.

This was the day Howard would usually park outside of Dorothy’s school.  She was getting older now and he had been watching her grow up from afar.  Howard really wanted to talk to her. He noticed she was outside, sitting on a small stone wall, as though she were waiting for a ride. He pulled up beside her, and she looked up from the opened book in her lap.  Dorothy was shocked to see him.  “Oh God, Daddy!” she squealed and jumped in the car beside him.  Her thoughts came out like rushing water as she put her arms around his shoulders. “I’ve missed you so much.  I started school here; they said you had left. Why did you leave? Mom’s so unhappy. I love you. Where have you been?”

“We had always been so close, Dorothy, but I found out that she wanted to sleep with another man.”

“Dad, why do people say ‘sleep with someone’? They’re not talking about sleeping, are they?”

“That’s just what people always do. They say one thing but they mean something completely different. Dot, that’s one thing I always loved about you. You always can tell if someone isn’t being straight with you, right?”

“Yeah, Dad. Mom told me it was her fault. She explained a little bit of it, and she said never do what she did. But who was it, Dad?”

“I don’t know. Somebody in New York. But she admitted it.  It was the stake in the heart of our love.”

“That sounds bad.” Her attention was cemented to her father’s words.

“I cried for days.  She ripped the last bit of meaning from our relationship.”

“Dad, maybe Mom wants you back.”

“Dot, Hasn’t she probably moved on, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know. You’d have to ask her. We moved to another house. It’s different. It’s a ranch. There’s a man there, and she says I don’t have to call him Daddy. But you’re my Daddy, no one else.” She thought about Harvey and how close he and her mother might be.  She didn’t really understand the way relationships worked.  They certainly seemed more complex than her young mind could grasp. Howard realized how children were like other animals who imprinted forever upon those they recognized as parents.

“It’s just as well that we leave everything the way it is. Let sleeping dogs lie, they say. You know, Dorothy? You prob’ly haven’t lived until your heart’s been stomped on…at least a few times.”

“I guess, Dad. I hope it doesn’t happen to me until I get older.”

“Well, it might be better if you’re young, and it might hurt more if you’re old. There’s a saying that goes�"There’s no fool like an old fool. Might be true. I’ll tell you one thing you should learn early in life�"the importance of knowing exactly when to let things go. Times will come that you want to hold onto something so bad that you really feel pain, not only in your mind, but maybe your body too. That’s the time to take a deep breath…just walk away. If you remember one thing of me, only? Remember that.” Dot held onto Howard very tightly and closed her eyes. She released him and breathed deep, deeper than she ever had before.

 “I been thinkin’ about Perry. Remember him?”

He nodded.  “Oh, he was really a cute dog…always happy to see us.” He was silent for a moment and then asked, “You want another dog, Dot?”

“No, not now. Nothing would replace him..  Listen, you better go, because I’m getting picked up in a few minutes.”

“OK. If you ever want to talk, dear, I work at the Reno Casino.”

“I’ll remember.” She leaned to kiss him on the cheek; then she hopped out.  Quickly, he was off and around the corner. She decided not to tell her mother about their chat.