Jurneys End

The days go by at a painful pace,

My memory locked with that look on your face,

Wondering what I have done or said,

That make you ignore me and make me feel dead.

 

On a day to day basis I constantly hide,

With my strong emotions wrapped up inside,

Somewhere dark and out of the light,

I try and muster the will to fight.

 

My friends they notice little change,

Though a virtueless smile I usually arrange,

Saddend by the things that are unfair,

Wondering if you ever did care.

 

I know I must move on though it is hard,

They say its the first mile I think they mean yard,

I must jurney within to find the old me,

Even without you however I think it must be.

 

I will work through my complication,

With my family and friends as foundation,

I will make up for lost time,

Jurneying without you back into my prime.

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

This poem shows great emotion, without that poor, poor me characteristic that some poems are filled with.You write this poem in the present and past tense. I think it would make more sense if it was all in the past tense. The third line reading "wondering what I have DONE or said', FOURTH LINE, "that MADE you ignore me and MADE me feel dead," etc. etc. In the third stanza I think you meant the word, "virtuous".In the fourth stanza, second line, it would make more sense if it read, "They say it's the first mile, I wish it was a yard." Fourth line, "Without you is how it must be." Journey is how the word is spelled. Just a few changes and you have a very good poem. Just my opinion:) Barbara