John Egbert

A Chapter by Winter

John gets introduced and you find out what curious items he has in store in his magic chest.

Disclaimer: This story does not belong to me it belongs to Andrew Hussie.

For this FF I have decided to take Homestuck, and rewrite it using descriptive words as if someone were reading a book. This has most likely already been done before but I thought it would be fun to do. This is most likely going to be a test story to see how it goes and if I enjoy writing it as much as I hope I do. Also, if I get good feedback from people and they want me to continue then I will. I will be putting all of the words in that are already in HS, and those should be in bold letters. -TW-

Act 1

A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13^th of April, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today that he will be given a name! What will the name of this young man be?

The black haired boy stood in front of his door, taking glances to the side at the wall as if the purpose of standing there was only remotely entertaining to him.

Enter name.

Zoosmell Pooplord. The boy wrinkled his nose, moving his square glasses slightly farther up his round face. Try again, smartass.

Try again.

John Egbert. The John boy beamed, relieved that you finally got his name correct. He then walked to the center of his room, done with silly shenanigans.

Examine room.

Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computer but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes.

What will you do?

John stood next to his bed, quickly glancing around the room. Was that a bored expression upon his face? Many posters donned his walls, and a white chest with gold stars and moons was placed precisely in a corner. He straightened his shirt out, which had a green ghost slime on it, eyes skipping over his white desk with his computer monitor tucked into the opposite corner from the chest.

John: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer.

The face of the boy wrinkled up again in annoyance as he remembered the white and gold chest that sat in the corner of his room. Your ARMS are in your MAGIC CHEST, pooplord!

Remove CAKE from MAGIC CHEST.

A white cursor appeared over Johns head. Out of sympathy for John's perceived lack of arms, you pick up the CAKE for him and put it on his BED. He smiled out of gratefulness and watched the cursor disappear.

John: Quickly retrieve arms from MAGIC CHEST.

The lid of the gold and white chest opened with a squeak of well worn hinges. You retrieve your FAKE ARMS from the chest. You use these for HILARIOUS ANTICS. You CAPTCHALOGUE them in your SYLLADEX. You have no idea what that actually means though. A pink card had appeared over Johns head, forcing the FAKE ARMS out of his hands and a picture of the object appeared on the card. He raised an eyebrow curiously. He turned back to what he was doing, pushing past actions out of his head. There are other items in the chest.