midnight blues.<3

actually written with the intention of them being lyrics, but written in poem form... eh. not one of my best, but still likable enough for me to post.

i've got those blues

those baby blues

staring me down

from the back of the room

     and i'd like to know

     if you'd like to go

     waltzing past midnight with me

or no-

          if not, that's fine, but

          if you change your mind

          you'll find me, you'll find me

                              alone tonight

     if you want your rest

     then declining is best

     but i'd like to someday

     put you to the test

  and take you waltzing

     past midnight

                       with me

     then we won't be

                        so alone, so alone

if you close your eyes

put those blues in disguise

     i'll skip waltzing to be by your side

             but i'll still be

     alone

so please, change your mind

together we'll find

midnight's a great time to dance-

                       you'll be fine

               you'll be all mine

          if you waltz

     past midnight

with me.

     i've got those blues

     your baby blues

     staring me down from

     the back of the room

                             again

and i know

     baby, i know

   you remember

         midnight

               so fine.

Reviews

[Hormoaning]

I don't know what to say about it other than that I love it. I like the repetition, and it has a really good rhythm to it. Reminds me of myself and someone I know.

[S]

I really like the repetition of phrases, but the rhyming hits a few rough spots. Rhyming is nice but not if it takes away from the overall mood or flow. Walks at midnight are discreet and inviting.

[Wildecat]

This is a wonderful poem, like the way you presented it. Nice job.