brilliant blue

not for you are the lonely lights,
the suitcase and the doorway out,
these shoes are not for your feet,
says my heart, almost staying,
without you, for you are the moon,
bruised by a star, curtained
by clouds, far away from my arms,
that aches with real emptiness,
ghost-whispering in your ears,
facing away from night's echo,
facing the silence, brilliant blue,
crippling its way to take me
by mild surprise at the thought
of you leaving, you live far away
from me, ever since we became
less than lovers, more than friends,
we can't lie anymore to this feeling,
falling in and out of us, fallen between

Reviews

[AliciaB]

Cool! There are many instances of very beautiful and unique imagery in this poem. Some of my favorites: "the moon, / bruised by a star" and "ghost-whispering". I also really like the line "less than lovers, more than friends" - very nice parallel structure there, and excellent portrayal of the confusing nature of this relationship. The final line of the poem is my favorite because of the paradox of "in and out of us" and the repetition seen in "falling" and "fallen" - I think that kind of repetition is one of the best poetic elements out there, as you know. :) The vagueness of this line is thought-provoking and leads to lots of room for personal interpretation. You've also got me wondering what "brilliant blue" signifies exactly (by the way, nice use of the title right in the middle of the poem - another one of those awesome repetitions!) Very intriguing and lovely poem. Nicely done!

[highonwords]

thank you alice for the wonderful insight and visit

steph

[Alfred Kukitz]

Hi Steph!

Redundant but true, your lines are brilliant narrative weaving their way around the understanding of the relationship. I was intrigued and entertained by this work.

Regards,
Al

[highonwords]

thank you al for the comment and visit

steph