world war within

REVISED version

someday, when there is no moon,
the stars are asleep, and the sun
is gone, most people are old,
nobody's too young to die,
i'll tell you all what i fear the most
because then, maybe,
you would find it hard to hate me,
you would find it easier
to forgive me, then maybe,
we'd have one last time -
what you and i could be,
in the most intimate sense,
down to the ash and bones
why we're almost out of love,
what in our genes, our beliefs,
gave up on each other too soon,
and in much less time than it takes
for us to die, i only fear death,
because i have so much life to give,
and yet,  there isn't so much life around me,

anymore

Reviews

[Leo]

It was really fabulous and solid reading it from the start but after this line "what you and i could be" it sort of went out of rhythm and I got lost..other than that, before this line it was a wonderful read especially written in a non-conventional or typical way, unique!

[highonwords]

oh - what you and i could be - to be more closer than they ever were (in the most intimate sense) down to their death - the question asking why they can't love anymore than they could live without hate - that they have only so much time left because if the life they lead, which has barely meaning at all - the fear i was going to tell the readers about was the fear of dying without having lived a meaningful life - i hope this helps :)

best,
steph