gone

you wore a poet's suit, naked
in your room, only your heart
and him are seen beyond the curtain
of your moon-bleached eyes,
it's almost dawn, and he isn't
with you, not even in his thoughts,
were you with him, you are nowhere near
(you can't be found)
strange footsteps of your eyes
around the walls to the ceiling,
to the trees, resurrecting the sun
but he's gone, to the bus-station
slightly tipsy from forgetting you,
slightly mad from her kisses,
slightly gone in your heart,
your heart's gone with him

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Very original ways to express thoughts & feelings of being left alone, watching someone go, the narrator's feelings of not being "with" him in all the ways she/he might wish to be. Good imagery & I like the sound of "slightly this & that" (3 times) toward the end, leading up to the final statement of loss.

[highonwords]

thank you so much, marge, for the wonderful insight and lovely visit - glad you enjoyed the poem :)

best,
steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like this...there is much depth...and sadness...
i find the third line a bit awkward..."and him is seen"

reading it a couple different ways...i read "he is seen" or "only your heart and him are seen"

i like the ending...the speaker seems to be talking to herself, or to someone to whom she has lost him..

leaves it open for the reader to figure out...interesting piece.

j.

[highonwords]

thank you, my friend, for the tip - i have corrected it - thank you, jacob, for the insightful review and lovely visit :) much appreciated :)

best,
steph

[V]

Another adorable piece by you. Your poems convey the loveliest and deep-felt emotions. I like to read them several times, sometimes I don't even know what to write about them, how to give a proper review maybe only that I love your choice of words. They combine romance and simplicity in one, a nice balance.

[highonwords]

wow, vanessa, thank you so much for the wonderful comment, the compliment - i want readers to really relate to the poem - i want to reach out to readers, really connect - poetry is one doorway to building relationships and discovering the heart and mind of people - thank you, my friend :)

best,
steph

[V]

You've already managed. (Though it's still always dependent on personal taste) You're welcome.

[highonwords]

thank you, my friend :)

best,
steph

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Steph, as Shakespeare would say,
"Parting is such sweet sorrow". Your
poetry caresses my hearts desire.
truly, Pat

[highonwords]

hi pat :) thank you so much for dropping by and sharing with us a famous line by W.S. - appreciated it very much :)

best,
steph