middle of lost

i am one step closer to me
before i start the other way,
the start of you in me 

one breath to last me,
before i am blue in the mouth,
i am warm blood, frosting around the rim
of my heart

let my feelings run free,
you let them run wild,
over you, over me

into the blue moon's iris,
deep-set dawns, pointing to a star,
in the middle of lost,
waiting to be found

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Your words are well-crafted with lots of fresh, original-sounding imagery . . . however, I don't feel this piece coming together as a cohesive whole . . . maybe the seemingly-disparate observations are a way to show the sensations of being lost!?!?! Actually, the narrator sounds more intent on this other beloved person, than actually conveying a sense of being lost. Maybe he/she really knows on some level that he/she is falling in love, but feels more comfortable saying he/she is lost.

[highonwords]

there is a hesitation about falling in love with the person - the poetic subject is lost between finding himself/herself or losing the person he/she is falling in love with - in the end, the poetic subject chooses to be free of her feelings for the person he/she was falling in love with - i hope this helps, my friend :) - so he/she could find herself, first

always a pleasure to hear from you, marge :) thank you so much for your insight and time

best to you,
steph