perspective

rubenesque you,
dense and heavy,
on my heart's palm,
with a strong sheen
a pungent scent
you make me burn
you paint my skin,
the same color,
as your eyes,
dawn, curdled on fire
same time, God
found you, a woman
lurking in the way
of His wide-set eyes
the desire of men,
to hold, in flesh,
in blood, in bones,
his whole life -
to pour as water pours
out of God's mouth
the green jungle,
is in my veins,
i look for you,
in the horrors of night,
the face of our child,
on constellations,
where our names
have been drawn,
since time was a cog,
in the throes of waking

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Once again, almost unintelligible to my PERSPECTIVE while reading this poem . . . often I will not comment on poems I don't understand. I don't want to assume the problem is with the poem. It might be a problem with my ability to understand. But in your case, I do want to comment becuz your writing is so amazing. I love your flow, your imagery, your total inhibition about throwing in wildly unexpected elements, describing them so vividly & poetically. Your originality is thru the roof! Good job on these very challenging aspects of writing.

[highonwords]

hi barleygirl -

peter paul ruben painted women, attractively plump - this means the woman has made a 'big', serious impression on man - she has made him passionate - God knew Eve would be good for Adam - God, himself, was fascinated with Eve - He told Adam to take Eve under his wing, to love her with all his life - he is particulary troubled when he couldn't find Eve, it's like the whole Garden of Eden turned upside down - he would look for Eve everywhere - they were meant to have a family, since God conceived Eve in His dreams


always,
steph

[barleygirl]

I really love your writing. I love your messages, once you explain. I think some poetry just needs to be explained further in the author's notes. Some of us aren't very good at reading figurative writes. You can't imagine how much we literal ones appreciate a little guidance in reading poetry such as yours.

[highonwords]

i'm so sorry i gave you a difficult time - it should be that the reader should never be made to work hard by the writer - my apologies - will explain anytime it is needed

steph

[Dhaye]

I see a husband thinking about his wife, or a man about a woman...

People need companion in this life. Someone who will stay by our side. Someone who will understand us or feel how we feel. Someone who will be with us to build a family.

Well-done piece of writing! Keep it up.

[highonwords]

thank you, ate dhaye, for the visit and the review :)

steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

kind of that adam and eve feel....she was made for him---and he in his lack of intelligence imagines she was made to serve him...and then finds out much to his surprise...that he depends on her for sustenance much more than he would ever expected...

i like the really short lines...expedites the rhythm...to a nice fast beat.

[highonwords]

i wrote this like God was dreaming a woman (Eve) for Adam, that women were created as an equal companion of men - with an equal footing in life - meant to be complementary to one another - thank you, jacob for the review and visit - glad you like the beat of the poem

my best,
steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and they should be complementary to each other...some men are just not too bright.

[highonwords]

thank you, jacob, you are a humble person

steph