church maiden

it moves me,
this temporary room
the rootlessness of us,
this nameless love
to near madness
a pointed question,
shamelessly drawn
on my ragged face
asking you for a haunting kiss,
that keeps me awake,
until night is a corpse,
dawn is spilling blood
from her wrists
but you, my love,
dream so helplessly
of a church maiden
parting you a kiss,
from the marble steps,
your feet await you,
far from me

Reviews

[Cyndy Robinson]

mmm, had a slightly different take on it. I view it as men/women interreaction. More like the woman has the power to move him and he feels helpless because he is powerless to resist her. So he violates her innocent trust---ah well you get the drift. I think it was very well done.

[highonwords]

thank you, cyndy, for the review and visit - i am glad to read your interpretation, that it struck a chord with you

steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

next to last line "your feet await you"?

really like the image of the dawn spilling blood from her wrists...

i tend to see the maiden as a virgin...keeping him away...then perhaps she gives in and feels the guilt...i was raised with that catholic guilt thing....and those pristine marble steps....but feet tread on them...and those feet aren't always so clean, or sin free.

[highonwords]

thank you so much jacob for the correction - wasn't really sure where this poem was going - it was jumbled for a while - thank you for your review and visit - i think the church maiden is a idealized version of women, whom men take home to their families and marry - the other girl 'though in the poem is the opposite, although she loves the man and is patient with what he could only give her - i think one day he'll up and leave her, that is before she finds the will to leave him, first

steph