girl (2)

you kiss like a w***e,
full of tongue and spit,

you leave him, breathless,
a half-moan, a half-whisper

but you love like a girl,
in a white cotton dress,

your mouth is stuffed,
with tea leaves and honey

you are steeped,
in mist and moonlight

the bells of cathedrals
tinkle with your name,

you sweep over his heart,
like a bird-thief

he brushes the dirt off your face,
and hangs you with the stars

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

Oh this is absolutely stunning. One of the best pieces I have read from you in a long time.

[highonwords]

thank you, kl, for the compliment - this poem just snuck on me - thank you for the visit

read morethank you, kl, for the compliment - this poem just snuck on me - thank you for the visit

always,
steph

[Mélania Woolf]

Beautiful piece!
This shows what humans are made of; different faces they collected from their past. Certainly, we cannot judge a person when it comes to loving because simply there are no rules, no manuals. Sometimes it's safer to believe emotions are probably beyond our understanding. The guy here ends up loving the girl regardless to her past, helping her brush 'the dirt off', decorating her darkest corners with light and hope for a whole new beginning.
Loved it!

[highonwords]

thank you, melania, for your insightful review

steph

[gabrielle]

Intriguing piece, steph. My mind wandered on this and it led me to the story of a girl with a spoiled reputation but who, nonetheless, love selflessly. Then came this guy, who was smitten with her intimate ability but eventually he fell in love with her despite her dark past. I know you want constructive criticism but i will leave that to those with technical expertise. :)

[highonwords]

is it a true story, ate gabs?

[gabrielle]

It is, but the ending was, unfortunately, a tragedy.:)

[highonwords]

how'd the affair end?

[gabrielle]

The girl discovered she had HIV. She left the guy because she could not bear to see him walk away from her.

[highonwords]

that's a heartbreaking story, ate gabs

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oooo ooooo...this reminds me of high school parking...Catholic girls and we Catholic boys...always being tempted by the wild passion which hits a wall and leaves us breathless and wanting---

and yet...the love is too young to match the physical...we are not emotionally ready to understand it all...so we clean ourselves up, and return to our confessionals...spruce up until the next engagement gets us close to that edge again.

[highonwords]

i love your comment, j, 'spruce up until the next engagement gets us close to that edge again', thank you for your insights, always appreciate your visits :)

steph

[Lydia Shutter]

Certainly graphic! We are all multi-faceted individuals. You ask for constructive criticism....here is an edit for you....the bells of cathedrals,tinkles with your name,....the verb and noun do not agree. it should be "the bells of cathedrals tinkle with your name." Lydi*

[highonwords]

thank you for the review and the correction, ma'am

steph