the huntsman and his would-be wife

while i starve for your love,
for the dowry and white-tent view

i've been feeding you
love notes and edible flowers,

lacing your drinks,
with dollops of my absence

i needed you to get drunk
with lust and longing,

i wanted to draw blood
down your throat to your veins

in a bedroom brawl,
i've been dropping bombs about commitment,

to tame your wild ambivalence
about love, to keep you from straying

to curb your bloodlust
for one-night stands and young girls

but your heart has flown
over the view of a girl by the window,

over the promise of white-picket fences,
over two red-peaked mountains,

between her dark, sloping thighs,
you swallow her whole and alive,

i close my eyes to the distance
between my mark, that is you and me

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

This is a great piece, steph. The subject is relevant, as one-sided love is really difficult for the one who chose to believe it will work. I like the metaphors you used here.
Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

[highonwords]

hi dhaye - thank you for the visit and the review - glad you found it relevant

my best,
steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"dropping bombs about commitments"

delightfully used metaphors in this piece...second to last and next to last stanzas are so interesting...

j.

[highonwords]

thank you, jacob, for the visit and comment

steph

[Lydia Shutter]

No way to make a man...or a woman....do something you feel is right. Forced relationships seldom work. Very emotive words. Sensual lines are good. Again, I am not sure why you separate your lines. The poem would read much more cohesively if you had the lines flowing.

[highonwords]

i wanted each line to remain, more like to leave their mark on the reader, that's what's with the line breaks, if you could please tell me which parts doesn't work, i might smoothen the rough edges

steph

[Lydia Shutter]

Steph, while I started out my career as a teacher, I am not one now. I really do not have the time to do more than I have. If you continue writing and reading poetry, you will improve your style. You are already on the right track.

[highonwords]

thank you, ma'am, for the encouragement

steph

[Alfred Kukitz]

Bravo! You have me sold as a consistent reader of what I consider outstanding poetry. Try to get published, you should have no problems.

Regards,
Al

[highonwords]

thank you, al, actually, it really is my dream to get published someday when the time is right and i have reached the prime of my creativity, thank you so much for the encouragement

my best,
steph