battered

for all my daring,
i almost lost my life twice,
saving him, and then you,

from family ghosts and real monsters

i wouldn't have cried,
not over black eyes,
and scraped knees

these are all very elementary
for i am big-boned and thick-skinned,
but the insult to my heart

for every cruel word,
made me love myself less,
left me always thinking more

about how best to love you,
until i went blind with anger
and choked to death on rancor

i fled that day, left the house
and pictures hanging on its walls,
no feelings, no goodbyes

just a trembling of my whole world,
at the sound of footsteps,
at the sound of your name

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

This one hit me, hit me hard. I can only relate it to my own experience of abuse. At the end of the day just the abuser's voice makes you uneasy. And it is the emotional that lingers, hopefully not forever, but for a long time ...

[highonwords]

i thought i'd write about battered women, but i'm not one,myself - nonetheless, i am so sorry that you've experience abuse in your life, a nightmare, i think

steph

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes, I often say I am lucky, because I had no broken bones or black eyes -- but the scars are deep and raw and open up when you least expect them to.

[Dhaye]

Kabayan, this is so touching. Imagine a person living in fear of someone's shadow.
But I admire how this piece was written. The style is excellent. I think you are so used in this category of art.
Well-done! Keep it up!

[highonwords]

hi dhaye - thank you so much for your kind words - appreciate your reading

steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"saving him, then you"

that one who beats me, then that one who apologizes...really one in the same and it never really changes...the change needed is to leave...and often the person leaves with no more feelings left and no goodbyes needed...

[highonwords]

thank you, jacob, for the review and for reading,

my best,
steph