It could happen to you

So at first glance this story is going to sound completely unbelievable.  Every one that reads this will start with complete doubt, thinking everything I say has to be made up.  But after a little while you'll have that tickle of what if he’s not bullshitting; what if this is actually true. I was sitting in my apartment on a Thursday around noon.  Had a little Motown playing while I was sitting around in my bathrobe with my feet up on the coffee table, drawing out my next painting in my sketchbook when it started.  Out of nowhere that noise from the “Predator” movie, you know the one with Arnold, when they were in the jungle and the predator started watching them started quietly playing from somewhere.  I was confused at first, thinking it must be just playing in my head, but after a short while I knew it was something else, it didn't stop playing.  I got up and tried to locate where it was coming from, maybe the neighbors, maybe outside. After looking around for what seemed like forever I eventually found the source, and oddly enough it was coming from my toilet.  As I was studying the commode, somewhat entranced by its eerie tune, I missed the creature starting to make its way to the surface of its rather disgusting doorway.  It first got my attention when the noise abruptly stopped.  I pulled myself out from under the throne to find a two to three foot long gleaming silver arm/tentacle thing tipped with a rather gnarly looking three pincered claw almost starring at me.  I froze, confused at first whether this might be a dream.  The claw thing took this as an opportunity to strike.  It darted straight towards my face, claws starting to open as it moved.  I instinctively tried to dodge the attack by moving my head out of the way, but I had forgotten where I was and when I tried to dodge I ended up cracking my head on the side of the toilet, which not only hurt like hell but ended up ringing my bell and making me dizzy.  In that same moment, the claw descending at my face missed its mark by just a bit and instead of landing smack dab on the middle of my face, it scrapped by the side gouging my cheek and slicing off the bottom of my left ear.  Even though I was dizzy and already in pain from hitting my head this new pain superseded everything and I cried out in pain as the blood started to gush from my face.  I started to panic.  What was going on?  What should I do?  Am I going to die?  Then I was quickly woken from these panicking thoughts by another attack from the claw; this time to my left arm.  I unknowingly was resting my left arm on the side of the bathtub when it reached out and grabbed me just above the wrist.  Its grip was strong and sharp and not only could I feel it cutting my arm I could feel something else inside the claw making my arm cold; really really cold.  

I think it was the oddity of the cold that startled me enough to start thinking.  And for the first time since this whole thing started, I started to think about solving my current problem.  This thing was strong.  It was trying to yank me around by my arm and was having some success doing so.  I grabbed the sliver thing just below the claw with my free hand and squeezed hard.  It was like grabbing frozen metal, it hurt and it burned my hand.  I grabbed a towel that had fallen on the ground during the struggle and grabbed the silver thing again hoping the new burier might help.  The thing still hurt to hold onto but the towel helped enough to let me get to my knees and then my feet.  The problem now was getting the silver toilet claw to release me.  There was nothing close enough to grab for a viable weapon.  I could feel my left arm freezing, it felt like the whole thing was nearly one big ice cube.  Starting to panic again I grabbed a bigger towel off of the shower and used it to grab the claw that was currently freezing my arm, but as soon as I grabbed the claw it tightened.  It tightened so much I thought it might snap my hand right off.  I wrenched my fingers under the different pieces of the claw desperately trying to get my arm free.  The claw was fighting back so fiercely it was tearing my forearm to shreds.  I squeezed so tightly on the claw piece I was holding it cracked.  Immediptialy the pressure abated, slowly taking the cold with it.  I seized the advantage and tried to rip that part of the claw completely off.  I did my best but the claw seemed to know my thoughts and started to recoil before I could really do any damage, but while recoiling it lessened its grip enough for me to get my arm free.  The silver thing took this opportunity to return to the pipes from where it seems to have come.  I quickly shut the lid to the toilet and left the bathroom shutting the door behind me. 

In the next few weeks I had my landlord, multiple plumbers and a pest control company come and inspect the toilet.  Everyone one had pretty much the same reaction of wonder, concern and overall disbelief.  The police wouldn't even fill a report on the incident. 
When I went to the hospital the nurses and doctors all listened to my story and agreed that my wounds looked like they were made by metal gears which obviously didn't match what I had told them, so they took it upon themselves to declare that I must be mentally unstable and most likely have done this to myself.

Did you know that people can lock other people away just by saying they're mentally unstable? I learned that lesson the hard way.