.(none).

Lately I find it impossible to escape configurations
Conglomerating in the corner of my eye
Always certain there’s a body present
The disappointment every time upon realization of solitude
Refusal to interact with actual human beings
(present time serves only as background noise for my internal existence.)
I cannot connect
As previously denoting feelings of derogatory connotation in regards to my constant state of loneliness
Pretense
I keep myself here
Alone
Awaiting arrival of chemicals that alter solitary existence
Unsure of desire to seek physical perfection
When attention is far from retention
Knowing now the necessity of this existence in farce
Maintaining conversation
Proving my lack of unconventional dependence
However knowing I am only preparing myself for just that
Assuring myself I will be more careful next time
Fairly certain this love will not last
Knowing I will always feel it
(having is not an option)
Collegiate expectations
Hoping to have less self centered inspiration to inscribe
Needing to fill my life with words and facts
Anything that can be personified
However neglecting all people
Knowing the idea of who I am will be missed
Physical presence strived to experience
Praying it is gotten over quickly, with ease
Will hone the ability to act this way upon departure and inevitable return
w. mitchell

Author's Note

.i found this today. i don't remember writing it. i think it was right when i got out of rehab.i refuse to edit it.