The Secret to a Long Standing Relationship

It's more of a non fiction, self-help or guide article. Are you thinking twice about pursuing your current relationship? Do you still love him? Try to read this one and see what it can do to help you.

I wiped his tears away yet he cried even more. The moon was young and everyone was asleep. All the lights were out except in the room where we’re staying. We lost track of the time, but we hoped we had more of it.

       “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He winced, took a deep breath and let out a silent yet desperate cry.

He was like this for almost 2 hours. What I felt was ineffable. Should I get angry? Disgust? Mercy? Or should I start grieving for uncouth but certainly painful possibilities of tomorrow? I was told of what I supposed to do. Alright, I wasn’t just told; I was commanded. But how could I leave a man who brought me nothing but love and happiness throughout the years?

        “You can leave me now, my darling. I don’t deserve you.”

It struck my heart. I held him in my arms and pressed my lips against his. I didn’t think it was a stupid thing to do for I knew that what I did was out of pure love and… maybe, fear. No, I couldn’t face a day knowing that we’re no longer each other. No, I don’t think I could live alone and wait again for another right man. I just found the right man, I knew I did. But, am I missing something?

We cried as if the tragedy was endless. Should we face another day together despite the odds? It was like he’s Romeo and I’m Juliet. But no, he also unexpectedly brought this to us due to obscure causes. I thought we were perfect, or at least we tried to be. I believed that he was perfect. And that belief, I’m afraid, was blinding me.

Let’s unravel the secret

Should you allow one big mistake to break you? Some would say, yes. Some would claim, no. Others would assert, “Well, it depends.” Yet the thing about this is you are committed to a human being. The fact which you should hold by now is - nobody’s perfect.

Mistakes, problems and failures are naturally occurring to relationships. Nothing is as real as fairy tales, some (not based on true story) novels or movies. Once you fall in love and commit yourself to someone, expect to get hurt. Love maybe a godly experience but it doesn’t mean that you’ve loved a God.

While these ugly things naturally happen inside a relationship, a hundred and one percent of lovers actually separate due to each other’s mistakes, problems and failures. And what pushes one to the edge is hatred; for it is when hatred overpowers that we begin to ask ourselves whether we still have love with us. And our human nature itself tells us to recognize hatred as the exact opposite of love. Now, take note of this: You can only say that you no longer love the person if you just hate what the person himself and not just what the person did. And these two things have significant difference! Hating solely the action implies chance while hating the person himself implies the need for a new life " a life without him, this time.

Finally, let me tell you the secret of a long standing relationship: forgiveness. Of course! It isn’t easy to forgive! And it has never been that easy. But the assurance, the promise of growth makes it more possible.

Alright, let’s accept the fact that your prince charming isn’t really a prince or maybe, isn’t even charming. But the point is he saved you. Somewhere, sometime in your life he did. And maybe that act brought the two of you where you are now. He saved you from the hands of the wicked witch and gave you happy life. He woke you up from a seemed-to-be eternal sleep and offered you perennial love. He killed the monsters that attempted to devour you and kept you safe in his arms. And if you’d keep the memory of that precious time, of that saving moment, you might feel that he deserves another chance just as he thought you deserved it too. And as you continuously correct each other’s mistakes (no matter how many they are), grow together, admire each other and love each other more, you’re making your way closer to perfection. At this point, you are inseparable and thus, stronger than you can ever imagine.

Author's Note

An excerpt of the story above was based on a true story. And what I've said in this article are based on my experience. Hope it helped you! :)