Hard To Look At

A poem I wrote when I was severely depressed. It's about how hard a girl was to look at when she is with her guy, despite how much I love her

I see you in the hallway, I pass you on the street

I know I can rationalize

Why our paths never meet

And why I won't look into your eyes

It's because I hate to have my childish dreams

Crushed under my personal despair

Replaced by my heartbreak, tears, and screams

'Because my feelings don't reflect, you don't care

You're just so f*****g hard to look at

Because every time my eyes lock onto you

He pulls some impressive s**t out of his hat

Leaving me alone to want nothing new

I don't want to come off as someone you'd hate 

I don't want to wish away what makes you smile

But these desires make me pray for fate

And keep me sane for a while

Then gravity drops me back to what is real

Just me chasing after a foolish wish

Keeping to myself what you don't feel

So my emotions, you completely miss

I used to find your gaze so entrancing

I could fantasize us doing it all

Hugging, kissing, laughing, dancing

Up all night up close, or text, or in a call

I used to always fixate on you, in hope, in prayer

But now, I prefer to always look another way

Wherever I turn, you're always there

An image of your hypnotic beauty, but with not much to say

You're so f*****g hard to look at

With my jealous agony burning through my veins

When you and him have your romantic chat

I silently writhe in my secret pains

Author's Note

I hope you like it

Reviews

[Lorraine]

How passionate and simply true. Normally, I don't encourage curses in a poem as they destroy the flow, but you used it here in a really spontaneous way. Love this poem, the drama and hidden dilemma carefully expressed in words.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Maria F. Rojas]

im wowed! great job!

[Khaotic Katastrophe]

amazing. very good emotion and i can relate. thanks for sharing

[Pen The Willows]

I love it. Many people have probably felt this way. I've felt this way, except about a guy that was dating my friend. There are just some emotions, such as the ones expressed in this poem, that are in the front of your mind at every minute, dictating everything you do, every move you make, the ways that you react. You did a good job expressing those emotions in this poem.