My Hell

The eyes of the world watch me from nowhere,
Judging without the knowledge of my life.
Unbalanced, I start to fall, landing there.

Again, all that is created is strife.
Mockingly, they glare at my beaten soul,
Judging without the knowledge of my life.

For my sins and pain, I must pay the toll.
I now cross into the threshold of hell.
Mockingly, they glare at my beaten soul.

Ringing the insanity of a bell,
I watch the cruelty that dares not speak.
I now cross into the threshold of hell.

There they stand, the last of the devil’s fleet.
Tearing through the lives of those in the way,
I watch the cruelty that dares not speak.

The darkness triumphs, so the light must pay,
Extinguishing the innocence of now,
Tearing through the lives of those in the way.
To never surrender is my final vow.
 

Reviews

[Lauren Stegg]

I like the emotional strength found in this poem, particularly the end. Well done with the rhyme scheme. Favorite lines:Mockingly, they glare at my beaten soul,Judging without the knowledge of my life. Ringing the insanity of a bell, I watch the cruelty that dares not speak.

[Celtic Cat]

First off, I looked up Terzanelle, and admire you for even trying!!
Second: perfect rhyme scheme - congrats, I see a lot of people say they are writing a form of poetry, but when you look at it, they aren't.
I love the flow of this rhyme scheme, very cool, thanks for the education, this reads really well.
Now to the content!
WOW - I absolutely loved this piece. Very strong words, very sad/but/true theme. I love how you stand up in the end, determined yet to fight - THAT is the best part to me. I loved this whole piece. Very cool.

[Davia Lynn Bradley]

wow...it's beautiful!!

I love the overall bittersweet dark tone, and the flow, and the...well, everything really. It's wonderful, and I once again say I have felt this point of view. Excellent for your first try, it seems like you've done it many times before, it's just that good. the ending is great, that final line cinches it as a fave for me. Your stuff is great every time I read it, and I am once again reminded why I subscribed to your work^-^ cause you're a genius! lol, I guess I'm ranting now, sorry, I just really loved it.

[Ashentara]

wow for a first try that was awesome Matt!!!

I love the darkness in your work... the pain and anger and suffering.. the passion and intensity.. always there.. I can relate to a lot of it. Thanks for sharing this :) Awesome work really!!