The eyes of the world watch me from nowhere,
Judging without the knowledge of my life.
Unbalanced, I start to fall, landing there.
Again, all that is created is strife.
Mockingly, they glare at my beaten soul,
Judging without the knowledge of my life.
For my sins and pain, I must pay the toll.
I now cross into the threshold of hell.
Mockingly, they glare at my beaten soul.
Ringing the insanity of a bell,
I watch the cruelty that dares not speak.
I now cross into the threshold of hell.
There they stand, the last of the devil’s fleet.
Tearing through the lives of those in the way,
I watch the cruelty that dares not speak.
The darkness triumphs, so the light must pay,
Extinguishing the innocence of now,
Tearing through the lives of those in the way.
To never surrender is my final vow.
I like the emotional strength found in this poem, particularly the end. Well done with the rhyme scheme. Favorite lines:Mockingly, they glare at my beaten soul,Judging without the knowledge of my life. Ringing the insanity of a bell, I watch the cruelty that dares not speak.
This is a very well written poem. Very nice flow, rythme, and ryhme. Excellent job. This piece is lovely. Great theme. Brilliant piece. =]
Posted 17 Years Ago
this is great. the intesity and the suffering makes it a darkened thought and state of mind to many but the pure truth to it is incredible. the thought of not surrending at the end puts a twist to it and makes it like some sort of expected suprise. it is truly great and i love it just like all of your other writing. by the way this is great for a first try and i agree with Davia Lynn Bradley when she says it looks and sounds like you have done it before.
I like the emotional strength found in this poem, particularly the end. Well done with the rhyme scheme. Favorite lines:Mockingly, they glare at my beaten soul,Judging without the knowledge of my life. Ringing the insanity of a bell, I watch the cruelty that dares not speak.
***This piece was great to read... I normally have a hard time trying figure out a rhyme scheme...lol
So deep...and partly depressing
loved it
its my kinda read!!!
The eyes of the world watch me from nowhere,
Judging without the knowledge of my life.
Unbalanced, I start to fall, landing there.
Again, all that is created is strife.
Mockingly, they glare at my beaten soul,
Judging without the knowledge of my life.
For my sins and pain, I must pay the toll.
I now cross into the threshold of hell.
Mockingly, they glare at my beaten soul.
Ringing the insanity of a bell,
I watch the cruelty that dares not speak.
I now cross into the threshold of hell.
There they stand, the last of the devils fleet.
Tearing through the lives of those in the way,
I watch the cruelty that dares not speak.
The darkness triumphs, so the light must pay,
Extinguishing the innocence of now,
Tearing through the lives of those in the way.
To never surrender is my final vow.
Matt, your words penned here are absolutely dank, deeply depressing and heart-wrenching, a wretched piece so beautifully written. I commend you on your creative ability to make words come alive with color. Thank you for sending me this. It was emotivlyy moving. N
High School writer, and Editor of our paper, The Cougar Crier. I seriously love writing, and lately I actually started writing poerty (something I never used to do). I'm planning on writing in college.. more..