Trying

Not a poem just something happening in my marriage and a way to cope

To my wife

Five years ago when we've met
I imagined a life full of love
Without any sorrow nor regret
I said this one i would keep even if i bled
In my head a family that i could keep
Our first fight it got ugly
So i got up and I'd left
We made up then ended up in bed
I couldn't believe when you proposed
I pondered about it.........oh f**k it!!!
But that very same night i've said yes
Soon we were wed the words we've said
Surely the vows I've said ment to be kept
until my very last breath
Or atleast yours instead
A memory to be kept

We've shared some moments
Not all to be remembered
Not all to be kept
So as time pased we became indifferent
We expierenced the differences from within
We both change to a crazier version
With plenty of words still not said
We fought and we loved
We both got insanely crazy but we still remain

My anger my biggest mistake
Like a gunman my trigger was haste
I've pushed you aside and i made you cry
Too many sorry's i have said
My reasons some due to your past mistakes
Others were my own shity mistake

Now in this time the truth awakes
Your wicked ways caused my endless pain
You've given away that what was mine
My love you betrayed
My trust erased
You have shown me how easy you can betray
That empty promises you have made
Softly and sound in the quiet of the night
There you lay unbothered about the gruesome pain you betrayal created
Now as you sleep my pain engage
All my anger turned away
Too that piece of s**t that i hate
Filled with hate and betrayal

Now these long days filled with wondering
Is this too late are we heading for big mistake
We promised to change our destructive ways
I know your secrets but you wont admit
You're still not truthful but i can wait
And even now you will deny and argue
Instead of realising its time to change
One day when it is too late
You would realise your mistake
And so would i but then it's way to late

We are not perfect just insane
Yet both perfectly guilty and to be blamed
And as the night comes to its end
Your bed awaits and my struggle begins
I want you to know that right here and now
Although my heart is shattered
My love for you still remains
I am still committed
And also willing to change
So tonight i will wisper in your ear
Its fine
Tomorrow awaits with love
And hopefully not all this f*****g hate

Author's Note

Should someone review. This is something happening in my marriage now and im just letting out some feelings trying to cope