The Succumbent Succubus

A sonnet

In an old home aged of collective crust
Sits a bitter woman on her webbed throne,
As stiff as stone, a crone as dead as dust
Reflects in rust her many years alone-

Her tired, sagging eyes once glowed like fireflies
and locks shimmered an auburn sheerly fierce.
With days comes grays, just how with time skin dries
and all her fears were faired by hearts she'd pierced.

The irony of age reversing bloom...
How flowers wilt whilst seasons do elapse...
As summer blossums, fall crawls forth to loom...
Winter harvests lushest in rue, perhaps...

-She sets aside the tarnished frame of late,
heaves a heavy breath... continues to wait...

Author's Note

My grandfather told me about a woman he used to love as a young man, a woman who trialed his spirit and consistently broke his heart. Later as the years went on, she went through seven short lived, failed marriages. These days, she's alone, no children, no spouse, no love. I knew a girl once following that same path to lonliness.

Reviews

[Fegger]

Yes, there are those (male or female) who are in love with love; and they metabolize affections on a temporal plain and, therefore, consume quickly. They're like the child that licks all the frosting to leave the cake behind.

This was an interesting weave of rhyme. I thought that, 'Now stained from cries, her youth a perished guise', was pushed---too much compromise to the rhyme and not the content. With V6, I think (grammatically) you want to present this as, '...by many an admiring...'.

All-in-all, I liked this very much. I tackled a similar tale in a piece entitled 'Winter Rose'---entirely different angle, but quite similar in theme. I have not posted that one here, yet...

Thanks for the invitation to this one!

[E.H. Monroe]

bleh. Save the writer's note for someone with no imagination. It immediately gives the reader an idea and the poem should do that alone.

This was the reminder that the ones who sow sorrow really do have nothing to show for it and die alone, helpless, shitting themselves while waiting and almost hoping for death.

And I say..good for em.

Right O mate

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

wow this was a great read I like it a lot my fave of yours so far Ill be reading this more than once I just like the way it feels in my mouth when I read it out loud lol

[OT]

very nice!!! a great sonnet, and yes I've seen her roaming around (wrote about her too actually haha) - they're there dotted around! and beauty always fades - fate is drawing near!!

[J.e.s.s.i.c.a]

This is really creative and very true. I like it a lot.