The Succumbent Succubus

A sonnet

In an old home aged of collective crust
Sits a bitter woman on her webbed throne,
As stiff as stone, a crone as dead as dust
Reflects in rust her many years alone-

Her tired, sagging eyes once glowed like fireflies
and locks shimmered an auburn sheerly fierce.
With days comes grays, just how with time skin dries
and all her fears were faired by hearts she'd pierced.

The irony of age reversing bloom...
How flowers wilt whilst seasons do elapse...
As summer blossums, fall crawls forth to loom...
Winter harvests lushest in rue, perhaps...

-She sets aside the tarnished frame of late,
heaves a heavy breath... continues to wait...

Author's Note

My grandfather told me about a woman he used to love as a young man, a woman who trialed his spirit and consistently broke his heart. Later as the years went on, she went through seven short lived, failed marriages. These days, she's alone, no children, no spouse, no love. I knew a girl once following that same path to lonliness.

Reviews

[Fegger]

Yes, there are those (male or female) who are in love with love; and they metabolize affections on a temporal plain and, therefore, consume quickly. They're like the child that licks all the frosting to leave the cake behind.

This was an interesting weave of rhyme. I thought that, 'Now stained from cries, her youth a perished guise', was pushed---too much compromise to the rhyme and not the content. With V6, I think (grammatically) you want to present this as, '...by many an admiring...'.

All-in-all, I liked this very much. I tackled a similar tale in a piece entitled 'Winter Rose'---entirely different angle, but quite similar in theme. I have not posted that one here, yet...

Thanks for the invitation to this one!

[Rick Puetter]

An interesting write. Wonderful language. Tragic message. Common circumstance.

An excellent write that was greatly enjoyed. Top marks.

Best regards,

Rick

[s y e]

Lovely flow, description was great and by my read requests someone has been busy!!! Lotsa poems from you to read !! Good on ya!

[Lexi I.]

All of your work is very dark--often reminiscent of work from authors like Poe--and it works. I think you have a talent for making the "dark" into something beautiful and read-worthy.

Great job with rhyming!

[Justin Littlefield]

Thank you! Yes, poets like Poe, Lord Byron, Edgar Lee Masters... I always felt pulled to their words so it was no surprise that when I started taking writing seriously, my style molded with their inspiration. Being told what I'm making is beautiful, is the best compliment you can give. It means a lot, thank you

[Rhianne Ney]

Personal comment which you can ignore as much as you like,
some "and" in some lines I guess can be removed because the poem can stand alone without them,
Anyways, I love reading your sonnets by the way~!

100/100

[Justin Littlefield]

Yeah its mainly to serve the meter that they are there. Thanks for the suggestion though! Thank you for reading so many of my pieces and actually reviewing them. I'm glad you like my sonnets. When I get off work, expect me to return the favor!

[Rhianne Ney]

Thank you~!

[Be myself!]

This is col. Its different than anything I have read by others so far. Good job.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are a very good writer. The strong description gave life to the photo. I like the way you described getting old and accepting the fate. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[taboo.poet]

This poem was very good. I loved the descriptions and detail. It makes for an excellent read, and you write it so well that it makes it very easy to imagine within your mind.
Great read and keep it up ^^

[HorrorMaster]

Nice I like it. :)

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

=D A great piece with heavy meaning to push the reader into thinking about their own actions and consequences there of. The word choice and images formed from them pushed the point across and allowed it flow so as to increase the impact and reaction from the reader.

[Michael Jarrell]

Ahhh. I love this. I pray to god I'm not this old lady when I grow up... haha