Forever Unseen

A Story by nicnacstreet

Something about a warm, loving family turns my stomach. It’s an unsettling concept for me mainly due to the fact that my own family is the polar opposite of the idea. I’ve never felt an inkling of pride or happiness towards my own existence from my parents. I’ve yet to be granted a simple smile by my mother over any slight accomplishment in life. My father’s deep consideration is always geared towards the fact that I could always do better. My actions have never been up to par by either of their expectations. I’m disregarded more often than not.

People questions my constant silence, confused as to why I keep my thoughts and feelings locked up in a tight, inconspicuous box. I’ve interpreted the reasoning behind my manner in many ways, but now I have come to a clear, concise consensus. My thoughts have never been deemed adequate enough to hear. My feelings have been tossed to the side more often than not. My self is not good enough for those around me.

Unfortunately, that has taken me to the harshest and most extreme conclusions. No longer shall my shell open for those around me. No longer shall anyone catch a glimpse of the unsettling mass that has turned into my self-identity. I shall mold and form my being into something that shall be embraced by my undeserving family. Not for the motivation to finally received their acceptance. It is more so to protect my weak, flinching identity. I can no more stand to watch my fragile being be poked, prodded, and torn apart by those unwilling to embrace me as I am.

And I’m fine with that.